At the beginning of summer, I made a decision.
No dating apps.
I had found myself checking my phone way too much for a validation that wasn't happening. My self worth was starting to tank, and I realized I was putting too much pressure on myself. I had been thinking, What is wrong with me? Why doesn't anyone want to date me? Why aren't people I am interested in on line interested in me? So, I gave myself permission to stop that crap. I wasn't going to pay for stressing myself out any more. If I am meant to meet someone, or be with someone...it will happen.
My thoughts are that one day, one of my friends might think of someone who would be a fun match for me. Or maybe one of my students will have a single, my-age, grandfather. Then, if that person and I are meant to be together, it will happen. I know one can't predict or control attraction. When I meet the right person, we will hang out, do things people who want to get to know one another do, talk and either click, or not.
To combat the lonely moments I felt, I filled my time with things I like to do: self care things. I read, wrote, cleaned out old papers, de-cluttered my computer, worked on house projects, or things for my classroom. I put together puzzles and baked MY favorite cookies. I was also spontaneous with my girl friends. I found that whole 'if you build it, they will come' thing works! If I wanted companionship, I just needed to ask.
One beautiful weathered night, I just wanted to sit out back on my deck, and drink wine with friends. So I made it happen. Another time, a friend from school and I planned a Ladies Game Night, and we played Cards Against Humanity. I must admit, it was the most polite game of CAH I've ever played. I think we needed more alcohol, or maybe a different, cleaner game for the crew invited. One night, I took Toby to an outdoor concert, figuring the worse thing that could happen is I'd be asked to leave if dogs weren't allowed. Another night I called a theatre in a nearby town and inquired if tickets were still available for that night's performance. I just had enough time to get there...so I went. I ended up sitting in the front row. Spur of the moment live theatre! I binge watched shows until the wee hours of the morning. I laughed out loud at stupid, funny movies that I've always wanted to see. I allowed myself to fall asleep, and spend the entire night on the couch, too. I didn't even brush my teeth that night. Such a rebel!
In the end, it was still a hard summer. I still had low moments, and I still worry I'll be alone forever. My sister reminds me often that as humans, we aren't meant to be alone. I am grateful for my summer break to be over. I am happy to be back into the chaos of my classroom.
I am trying to have faith that my someone is still out there.
Maybe he's working on healing himself, just as I am.
~Lisa Kroll,
simple wonder woman, creator of my own happiness, lover of life, and human being
----------
Listening to Rachel Platten, Fight Song; Family of the Year, Hero; Ruth B, Lost Boy; and my Instrumental Playlist...songs by The Piano Guys and Simply Three.
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Friends. Show all posts
Saturday, August 11, 2018
Monday, May 28, 2018
Wrapping up the School Year...
“Charlotte,” said Wilbur. “We’re all going home today. The Fair is almost over. Won’t it be wonderful to be back home in the barn cellar again with the sheep and the geese? Aren’t you anxious to get home?”
For a moment Charlotte said nothing. Then she spoke in a voice so low Wilbur could hardly hear the words.
“I will not be going back to the barn,” she said. Wilbur leapt to his feet. “Not going back?” he cried. “Charlotte, what are you talking about?”
~from Charlotte's Web, by E.B.White
Until I became a teacher, I didn't understand what the end of a school year and summer break truly meant.
As a parent, the end of a school year means, time to find help with watching your kids, or finding ways to keep the kiddos occupied for eight to ten weeks. Family vacations or other travel plans are typically carried out. Summer reading program schedules are accessed, and put on the calendar. Swim, or soccer lessons fill time, as well as league games, and hitting a swimming pool. Playdates, and overnight stays become a daily thing. The first few weeks of summer break are welcomed by all.
I recall falling into the summer routine with my own children. Sleeping in and playing with Legos or crafting. My kids LOVED being on break, and I loved having them home, until the boredom set in, which happened quicker than I always liked. Yikes, being a parent over summer has it's challenges! As a parent of two, at times it seemed I could not get them to agree on ANYTHING. Nor could I get them to do what I wanted them to do without yelling or getting angry. Where were the teachers now?! How did they do it, day after day with my two - both who were good kids I might add???
The end of the school year is filled with emotions. Yes, this group of students came to me in August, but my year started before they arrived. Weeks before school starts, I have to get my room ready for the year. Items that were packed away need to resurface and find their home again. There are curriculum manuals to read, papers to copy, homework folders to set up, thirty-six weeks of lessons to generally spread out, to just name a few things that fill a teacher's time. In fact, as soon as school ends in May, I will attend professional development seminars, so assuming teachers have the summer off is truly wishful thinking. Most teachers go to classes to help further their knowledge over the summer. We attend technology, reading, writing, social studies, math, science, and classroom management seminars. THIS is how we fill our summers. We become students during our two month break. Some of us also teach summer camps, so we spend time preparing and teaching, as well.
By the time "Meet the Teacher" happens the day before school, most teachers have all ready been working for two weeks in their classroom. It's true, teachers do love school. We are so excited for the new year to start! In first grade, there are brand new, sharp crayons that still have their paper wraps neatly around them. There are long, pointy, number two pencils whose erasers have yet to be pulled out and whose ends haven't been chewed on. There are chunky erasers waiting to be shredded by scissors. There are perfect folders and composition notebooks that teachers neatly have written student's names upon. Name plates with student numbers on them have been carefully taped onto the student desks. All their edges are smoothly stuck down to the desk tops and ready to be picked at by all the little picker's fingers.
In August, students and teacher come together, and a new community is born. Rules must be established and enforced. How to line up, walk in a line, sit at ones desk, play on the playground equipment, use the bathroom, get to the library, the specials rooms, and cafeteria are taught over and over. Where to sit in the cafeteria and what manners there look like are explicitly shown. Expectations are set for all aspects of the day and strived towards. Letter formation, spelling, number sense and learning to read are the curriculum that start a first grade school year.
Fall break is not really a break for teachers. Grades and comments are due on report cards just after break. There is also other data that is collected on students skill abilities. This information must be added to a grade level data chart. Teachers spend their days teaching, and it's nigh impossible to sit down to input information. So our break is filled with inputting data and getting ready for term two.
When October arrives, a teacher has parent/teacher conferences to host after the first report card has been sent home. These conferences give us a chance to connect with parents after we've had a little time to find out our student's strengths and areas of concerns. We are happy to share positives with parents and offer ways to help their child be the best student they can be.
By Thanksgiving, we know our class very well. We know who needs extra TLC, who needs pushed, who needs watched so they aren't falling through the cracks and who has it all together. When winter break arrives, we finally have a few days we can turn our brains off from school, but the holidays quickly fill the school void.
The winter months of the new year find the class running smoothly as a community. Light bulbs seem to click on as students suddenly "get" what is being taught. It's a rewarding time to be a teacher. One's efforts can be seen paying off.
By the time spring break hits, the end of the year is now in sight. Teachers panic a bit...can they get through everything they need to get through? Students start acting more like siblings. They pick on and tease one another. They are much more comfortable and they speak their minds. Class rules and expectations need to be revisited. Students rat out each other's poor choices, ones made while away from the teacher, without blinking an eye. Even best buddies do this to one another! That is, unless they were making poor choices together...like using the bathroom as a parkour training room. Then, students from other classes rat them out! The first grade beast is both funny and fun to watch.
May arrives, and the finish line approaches. One hundred and eighty school days completed draws near. Charlotte's Web is the last read aloud. Tears stream down teacher's cheeks and his or her voice may crack as these words are read...
"But as he was being shoved into the crate, he looked up at Charlotte and gave her a wink. She knew he was saying good-bye in the only way he could. And she knew her children were safe.
“Good-bye!” she whispered. Then she summoned all her strength and waved one of her front legs at him.
She never moved again. Next day, as the Ferris wheel was being taken apart and the race horses were being loaded into vans and the entertainers were packing up their belongings and driving away in their trailers, Charlotte died. The Fair Grounds were soon forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and trash. Nobody, of the hundreds of people what had visited the Fair, knew that a grey spider had played the most important part of all. No one was with her when she died."
Tomorrow, I will say goodbye to my students. They are ready to move on, even though I am not yet ready for a new groups of kiddos. I will have the summer to let this group go in my brain. My students have had a great year, and I am happy they have been in my life and classroom. They will always be my kids. That's how a teacher's heart works.
The day after tomorrow, I will clean out files, take down things hanging on the walls, and clear off shelf tops. I will be in my classroom, all alone. My heart will ache a little at the end of the day when I turn off the light and pull the door closed.
I will wake on Thursday and I will not head into school to see my students. I will not start each day seeing and greeting my friends. When I decided to teach, I hadn't expected the bond I form with other teachers to be as deep as it is. I adore all the people at my school. It truly is an extended family. I will fall into my own summer routine. I am looking forward to nuzzling my kitties randomly through the day, and hiking with Toby.
When August rolls around...
I'll be ready for my next class full of kiddos. More importantly, I'll be ready to be back home, in my barn cellar, alongside all my friends.
~Lisa Kroll
For a moment Charlotte said nothing. Then she spoke in a voice so low Wilbur could hardly hear the words.
“I will not be going back to the barn,” she said. Wilbur leapt to his feet. “Not going back?” he cried. “Charlotte, what are you talking about?”
~from Charlotte's Web, by E.B.White
*****
Until I became a teacher, I didn't understand what the end of a school year and summer break truly meant.
As a parent, the end of a school year means, time to find help with watching your kids, or finding ways to keep the kiddos occupied for eight to ten weeks. Family vacations or other travel plans are typically carried out. Summer reading program schedules are accessed, and put on the calendar. Swim, or soccer lessons fill time, as well as league games, and hitting a swimming pool. Playdates, and overnight stays become a daily thing. The first few weeks of summer break are welcomed by all.
I recall falling into the summer routine with my own children. Sleeping in and playing with Legos or crafting. My kids LOVED being on break, and I loved having them home, until the boredom set in, which happened quicker than I always liked. Yikes, being a parent over summer has it's challenges! As a parent of two, at times it seemed I could not get them to agree on ANYTHING. Nor could I get them to do what I wanted them to do without yelling or getting angry. Where were the teachers now?! How did they do it, day after day with my two - both who were good kids I might add???
The end of the school year is filled with emotions. Yes, this group of students came to me in August, but my year started before they arrived. Weeks before school starts, I have to get my room ready for the year. Items that were packed away need to resurface and find their home again. There are curriculum manuals to read, papers to copy, homework folders to set up, thirty-six weeks of lessons to generally spread out, to just name a few things that fill a teacher's time. In fact, as soon as school ends in May, I will attend professional development seminars, so assuming teachers have the summer off is truly wishful thinking. Most teachers go to classes to help further their knowledge over the summer. We attend technology, reading, writing, social studies, math, science, and classroom management seminars. THIS is how we fill our summers. We become students during our two month break. Some of us also teach summer camps, so we spend time preparing and teaching, as well.
By the time "Meet the Teacher" happens the day before school, most teachers have all ready been working for two weeks in their classroom. It's true, teachers do love school. We are so excited for the new year to start! In first grade, there are brand new, sharp crayons that still have their paper wraps neatly around them. There are long, pointy, number two pencils whose erasers have yet to be pulled out and whose ends haven't been chewed on. There are chunky erasers waiting to be shredded by scissors. There are perfect folders and composition notebooks that teachers neatly have written student's names upon. Name plates with student numbers on them have been carefully taped onto the student desks. All their edges are smoothly stuck down to the desk tops and ready to be picked at by all the little picker's fingers.
In August, students and teacher come together, and a new community is born. Rules must be established and enforced. How to line up, walk in a line, sit at ones desk, play on the playground equipment, use the bathroom, get to the library, the specials rooms, and cafeteria are taught over and over. Where to sit in the cafeteria and what manners there look like are explicitly shown. Expectations are set for all aspects of the day and strived towards. Letter formation, spelling, number sense and learning to read are the curriculum that start a first grade school year.
Fall break is not really a break for teachers. Grades and comments are due on report cards just after break. There is also other data that is collected on students skill abilities. This information must be added to a grade level data chart. Teachers spend their days teaching, and it's nigh impossible to sit down to input information. So our break is filled with inputting data and getting ready for term two.
When October arrives, a teacher has parent/teacher conferences to host after the first report card has been sent home. These conferences give us a chance to connect with parents after we've had a little time to find out our student's strengths and areas of concerns. We are happy to share positives with parents and offer ways to help their child be the best student they can be.
By Thanksgiving, we know our class very well. We know who needs extra TLC, who needs pushed, who needs watched so they aren't falling through the cracks and who has it all together. When winter break arrives, we finally have a few days we can turn our brains off from school, but the holidays quickly fill the school void.
The winter months of the new year find the class running smoothly as a community. Light bulbs seem to click on as students suddenly "get" what is being taught. It's a rewarding time to be a teacher. One's efforts can be seen paying off.
By the time spring break hits, the end of the year is now in sight. Teachers panic a bit...can they get through everything they need to get through? Students start acting more like siblings. They pick on and tease one another. They are much more comfortable and they speak their minds. Class rules and expectations need to be revisited. Students rat out each other's poor choices, ones made while away from the teacher, without blinking an eye. Even best buddies do this to one another! That is, unless they were making poor choices together...like using the bathroom as a parkour training room. Then, students from other classes rat them out! The first grade beast is both funny and fun to watch.
May arrives, and the finish line approaches. One hundred and eighty school days completed draws near. Charlotte's Web is the last read aloud. Tears stream down teacher's cheeks and his or her voice may crack as these words are read...
"But as he was being shoved into the crate, he looked up at Charlotte and gave her a wink. She knew he was saying good-bye in the only way he could. And she knew her children were safe.
“Good-bye!” she whispered. Then she summoned all her strength and waved one of her front legs at him.
She never moved again. Next day, as the Ferris wheel was being taken apart and the race horses were being loaded into vans and the entertainers were packing up their belongings and driving away in their trailers, Charlotte died. The Fair Grounds were soon forlorn. The infield was littered with bottles and trash. Nobody, of the hundreds of people what had visited the Fair, knew that a grey spider had played the most important part of all. No one was with her when she died."
Tomorrow, I will say goodbye to my students. They are ready to move on, even though I am not yet ready for a new groups of kiddos. I will have the summer to let this group go in my brain. My students have had a great year, and I am happy they have been in my life and classroom. They will always be my kids. That's how a teacher's heart works.
The day after tomorrow, I will clean out files, take down things hanging on the walls, and clear off shelf tops. I will be in my classroom, all alone. My heart will ache a little at the end of the day when I turn off the light and pull the door closed.
I will wake on Thursday and I will not head into school to see my students. I will not start each day seeing and greeting my friends. When I decided to teach, I hadn't expected the bond I form with other teachers to be as deep as it is. I adore all the people at my school. It truly is an extended family. I will fall into my own summer routine. I am looking forward to nuzzling my kitties randomly through the day, and hiking with Toby.
When August rolls around...
I'll be ready for my next class full of kiddos. More importantly, I'll be ready to be back home, in my barn cellar, alongside all my friends.
~Lisa Kroll
Saturday, May 12, 2018
Words to Build By... Habitat Women Build, Day 7, 2018
I was asked to give the devotion, or words of wisdom, before a Habitat Women Build day.
Here's what I had to say...
-----
Our day, in pictures.
~Lisa Kroll
wonder woman, lower case W's
---------notes---------
Independence: The state or quality of being independent; freedom from dependence; exemption from reliance on, or control by others; self- subsistence or maintenance; direction of one's own affairs without interference.
Habitat for Humanity: Women Build
information and my web page: click here
Here's what I had to say...
"Independence is an amazing gift to receive. But I have found, it an even more amazing gift to see, and be witness to.
'I spend a fair amount of my time each day trying to build community and independence within my classroom. There are skills my students need to learn, and tests that I am required to give, but I know the bottom line is that the group of students whom I am molding at any given time, will, with a little bit of luck, have 11 more years of school together.
'I figure I'm really laying the foundation of their people skills. Learning to work together and solve problems is what life is really all about.
'I like to think of myself a little bit like Wonder Woman. Not as a hero, but as someone who is a little bit mysterious, someone who has a past that has shaped them, someone who is strong, and someone who can accomplish anything when they focus their mind on it. I find that’s how I live my life these days really.
'I am old enough to know, we all experience adversity at some point in our lives. And because of those experiences, we can look at the rainbows and flowers and the butterflies in the world and see their colors a little more deeply. We become more compassionate and understanding. One of life lessons we must learn is to ask for help. And when we do this, not only do we become richer by admitting we are human, but those we ask become richer as well. For in being asked to help someone, we feel valued. And truthfully, isn’t that what we all want is to add value to the world?
'So today, I ask that the powers above, help us to share our mysteries, embrace our pasts, give us the strength we need to focus on and accomplish today’s tasks.
'When we work together, we grow together.
'Thank you all for sharing today with me."
Our day, in pictures.
 |
| May 5, 2018 - 7:30 a.m. Bloomington, Indiana |
 |
| new shirt, old hat and tool belt |
 |
| two houses to roof, my fifth time to build |
 |
| instructions on the roof |
 |
| selfie time! |
 |
| when in Indiana...Indiana Jones time |
 |
| part of our team working on the ground |
 |
| ...and we are off! |
 |
| morning picture of both roofs under way |
 |
| first build, first cut, first time on the roof, strong lady |
 |
| power tools |
 |
| our chef, taking orders |
 |
| team work |
 |
| my work area |
 |
| roof one almost done! |
 |
| my tools, and roof two almost done! |
 |
| 6:00 p.m. |
wonder woman, lower case W's
---------notes---------
Habitat for Humanity: Women Build
information and my web page: click here
Sunday, February 18, 2018
Earth Moving... Can You Feel It?
 |
| Earth moving as I jet off to Chicago |
Sometimes, adventures come at exactly the right time.
After a long, and unusually emotional week of teaching, I had a weekend date with seven of my high school friends. Some of these people I have known since the fifth grade. After school, I drove an hour north and caught an evening flight to Chicago. Technically, it takes less time to drive to Chi-Town from my house, than it does to fly. Our group usually likes to do this trip when we can all have three days off, this weekend would not be a 3 day weekend for me. I told my friends to enjoy the weekend. I didn't have the energy to drive north after working all day, chat until the wee hours of the night, then to head home in less than 48 hours where I would still need to spend several weekend hours in my classroom prepping for the week ahead. So, I was pampered. My friends have generous hearts...it might be an unspoken stipulation for being in our "club". My flight arrangements were made for me so that I wouldn't miss out on the weekend fun. The benefit of frequent flyer miles: a gift from my world traveling buddy.
I arrived at O'Hare five minutes after the world traveler. He had started his day in Lisbon, Spain, before stopping in Boston and then landing in Chicago. We took a taxi to the hotel, and after checking in, had fifteen minutes before we needed to head out to meet up with the others. Having arrived earlier in the afternoon, they had all ready started the reunion fun! As in our past trips, we traveled from different parts of the world; four states...cars, trains and planes connecting us.
Dinner was at the Copper Fox, per our gastronome's suggestion and was fabulous! As the late comers sat down, others were all ready imbibing. The waitress asked what we wanted but needed to wait, as I was too busy tasting drinks around the table before I could decide. In the end, a whiskey drink called ONE FLEW SOUTH landed at my place. A little tongue in cheek fun as I had flown north! It was a mixture of diplomatic reserve extra anejo rum, lime juice, luxardo maraschino liqueur house demerara, barrel aged bitters, and tart cherry juice. A great combination, and the best way to kick off the weekend with my buddies.
Over the next hour and a half, there was laughing, stories and sharing of food. After dinner, there was talk of chocolate dessert, but we wandered back towards the hotel to hang out in the suite between the girl's rooms.
Upstairs we toasted one another again, and began to really relax and catch up in private. Another of our classmates happened to be in town as well, up from Atlanta, celebrating his mother's 80th birthday with his family. We chatted with this friend for a few hours, too. It was funny to watch as he worked the conversations around the room, basically interviewing each of us. He also admitted to a little facebook stalking before hand. Aren't we all guilty of that? I don't think I've seen this friend in person since we graduated high school. Facebook has the power to make one feel they haven't missed a beat with friends.
This get-together for our main group, was much over due. A year has passed and each of us has grown a little more since then. Grand babies have been born, a new business venture has started, education is being continued, a spouse was lost to illness and another is leaving due to divorce, parents continue to age, children continue to grow, and our souls continue to heal from those every day challenges we all face. We shared our successes and our hurts. We talked about the love we have for others we grew up with and our wishes that they would feel comfortable to come and join us some time. We all have secrets and pains. Share them or not, we understand that growing up has been hard, but we also know that our early in life friends knew us when we were still dreamers. Friendships that can weather life are the best friendships. This group coming together is what true friendship looks like. The seven of us seem to turn back into our 18-year-old selves when we are together, but we are realist and know we now have a wisdom about us. We are people who can come together, and love one another, no matter what.
The weekend plans this trip were simply to share time together. We each have a role to fill, and our social director suggested we see Beautiful: The Carole King Musical at the Palace Theatre. We are the generation who grew up influenced by the music Ms. King created. Our production was on Saturday at 2pm. Perfect! After our late night Friday, we gathered near 11 to walk to brunch and then the theatre. Brunch was at the Hubbard Inn and featured Rustic Wheat Avocado Toast, Blackened Tiger Shrimp and Grits, Pork Belly Benedict, and Slow Roasted Corned Beef Hash all washed down with mimosas. After brunch, we expected to encounter the Women's March due to our timing, but we must have walked on paths not being used by the march.
The show was wonderful! We couldn't help but comment at intermission, 'I didn't know she helped influence THAT song." We were reminded that Carole King IS an amazing lady! I found myself wiggling my feet, but really wanting to be up and dancing, with the music. After the show, we walked back towards our hotel and shopped along the way. We tried to decide what the evening plans should include. Dancing? Karaoke? More talking? Many suggestions were thrown into the ring for consideration. Sitting in the hotel bar, we got serious about deciding the evenings plan. In the end, we decided we'd order pizza, buy a game, change into our pajamas, and stay in for the night!
Pizza was ordered from Lou Malnati's. Two brave souls donned PJ's. Drinks were made for all. Our game of choice...Cards Against Humanity. Everyone laughed until they cried at some point in the evening. "New" words were discovered. Interesting conversations were sparked..."how does THAT happen???" was asked. Explanations were given in code, which made us laugh harder. Siri was asked, and responded "You don't need to ask that question!" Truly, tears from laughter filled our eyes.
We only went to bed that night because we were all exhausted and are a bit too old, and too smart, to sleep on couches when we had paid for feather topped beds.
Two in our group had to leave before Sunday brunch. Our weekend together was coming to an end. The few of us who were still together went to the LuxBar where amazing Bloody Mary's topped the menu. As we returned to the hotel, hugs and kisses were shared. Ubers arrived and we parted ways. Until next time, I will love my friends from a distance, and stay in continual touch. We have a thread of messages that at times can instantly blow up to 95+ comments! Blink and you'll have to spend half an hour catching up! Thank you FaceBook for reconnecting this group a few years back when we were planning our high school class reunion. This was our 36th year get-together.
For others who are lucky enough to have friends like I do, I hope you realize too what a special connection and joy are friendships. We all have secrets, but when you can let down your guard and trust others, you can heal and grow in unthinkable ways.
My take aways from the weekend were literally an Anchor bag...meaning a bag with Anchors on it. We had a running joke about bags we'd be bringing...heavy because they felt like they held anchors. One of our tribe made sure we all actually had these bags for our next trip. Another in our tribe gave us all necklaces with words that reminded her of each of us stamped onto a key. Together we are Belief, Fearless, Inspire(ing), have Faith, Strength and Hope. That sums us up nicely. I think her word might be Joy. While she is certainly beautiful on the outside, her inside Joy simply radiates.
In the end, we all know We've Gotta Friend....or two, or seven.
The weekend plans this trip were simply to share time together. We each have a role to fill, and our social director suggested we see Beautiful: The Carole King Musical at the Palace Theatre. We are the generation who grew up influenced by the music Ms. King created. Our production was on Saturday at 2pm. Perfect! After our late night Friday, we gathered near 11 to walk to brunch and then the theatre. Brunch was at the Hubbard Inn and featured Rustic Wheat Avocado Toast, Blackened Tiger Shrimp and Grits, Pork Belly Benedict, and Slow Roasted Corned Beef Hash all washed down with mimosas. After brunch, we expected to encounter the Women's March due to our timing, but we must have walked on paths not being used by the march. The show was wonderful! We couldn't help but comment at intermission, 'I didn't know she helped influence THAT song." We were reminded that Carole King IS an amazing lady! I found myself wiggling my feet, but really wanting to be up and dancing, with the music. After the show, we walked back towards our hotel and shopped along the way. We tried to decide what the evening plans should include. Dancing? Karaoke? More talking? Many suggestions were thrown into the ring for consideration. Sitting in the hotel bar, we got serious about deciding the evenings plan. In the end, we decided we'd order pizza, buy a game, change into our pajamas, and stay in for the night!
 |
| Dinner and a game |
 |
| Local Treats |
We only went to bed that night because we were all exhausted and are a bit too old, and too smart, to sleep on couches when we had paid for feather topped beds.
*****
Two in our group had to leave before Sunday brunch. Our weekend together was coming to an end. The few of us who were still together went to the LuxBar where amazing Bloody Mary's topped the menu. As we returned to the hotel, hugs and kisses were shared. Ubers arrived and we parted ways. Until next time, I will love my friends from a distance, and stay in continual touch. We have a thread of messages that at times can instantly blow up to 95+ comments! Blink and you'll have to spend half an hour catching up! Thank you FaceBook for reconnecting this group a few years back when we were planning our high school class reunion. This was our 36th year get-together.
For others who are lucky enough to have friends like I do, I hope you realize too what a special connection and joy are friendships. We all have secrets, but when you can let down your guard and trust others, you can heal and grow in unthinkable ways.
My take aways from the weekend were literally an Anchor bag...meaning a bag with Anchors on it. We had a running joke about bags we'd be bringing...heavy because they felt like they held anchors. One of our tribe made sure we all actually had these bags for our next trip. Another in our tribe gave us all necklaces with words that reminded her of each of us stamped onto a key. Together we are Belief, Fearless, Inspire(ing), have Faith, Strength and Hope. That sums us up nicely. I think her word might be Joy. While she is certainly beautiful on the outside, her inside Joy simply radiates.
In the end, we all know We've Gotta Friend....or two, or seven.
*****
Additional thoughts:
My weekend away happened a month ago, but more recently I have been questioning what makes a friendship weather the test of time, how long one needs to know someone before they can truly call them a friend, and at what point does one earn the title of friend?
I don't believe we can have too many friends in this life, and I think friendship becomes undefinable when you are at your lowest point and these people whom you call friend step up and go above and beyond what you would have expected. One of those times for me was when I was dealing with my mom's terminal illness, and my friends stepped up to nurture my soul. Then, I had times when I thought my life might end because I was dealing with a divorce, and friends stepped up once again and loved me despite that, encouraging me to push on, telling me I was strong and brave and capable and beautiful and that everything was going to be all right. And accomplishments...friends celebrate big and little accomplishments, too.
I have watched friends lose those they love, and have known others who have traveled great distances just to hold a hand and be an ear. I know others who right this minute are sitting by bedsides in hospice care, so death doesn't happen alone for their friends. Truly these friendships are signs from above that we can and should care for one another, and that it's easy to do!
Friends are not just people who share the fun times in our lives. Friends are there for the dark times too, and they stand with you, no matter what.
Wouldn't the world be a nicer place if we could all be kind to one another like we are to our best of friends?
~Lisa Kroll
Friend, Member of the Class of '82, Hope, Love Warrior
Blogging Music: Carole King - Tapestry (1971)
Friend, Member of the Class of '82, Hope, Love Warrior
Blogging Music: Carole King - Tapestry (1971)
additional pictures from Ferris Bueller's Weekend Off:
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| Magnificent Mile from our Suite View |
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| Fourth Presbyterian Church of Chicago from our Suite View |
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| In the morning, Suite View looking out the other window...Lake Michigan |
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| When someone has a selfie stick and says...smile! |
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| ...and smile! |
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| ...and smile! |
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| ...and just after I said smile...they thought I was done! lol Please know, they actually ASK me to get out the selfie stick! No one wants to own one, but everyone is happy they know someone who does! |
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| Chicago River with a little ice |
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| We all recall having a Social Studies book in high school that stated you could see Lake Michigan from every room in these towers. We all wondered if that's really true. |
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| I love these lines against the blue sky! |
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| Sitting on a stone, only evidence from the Women's March that we saw. |
Sunday, January 07, 2018
My Addition and Some Advice
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| in the woods near the Burrow |
I love having him to come home to, or being able to say, "Let's go for a ride!" and have him eagerly run to the door. I enjoy his company as I do errands or travel, and we've all ready been on one over night adventure. I love taking him out for walks at all times of the day, but I'll confess late night walks in the dark, where I can star gaze might be my favorite walking time. We've been out many times all ready in below zero weather, and have pounced in 12+ inches of snow in lower Michigan. We are learning to walk in the woods together. It seems like the leash is a new experience for Toby.** We both need to have plenty of patience as we learn to read the other's signals. I love having him to cuddle with on the couch at night while I do my school work, or play Words With Friends! He loves belly rubs, and I enjoy the distraction.
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| You smell familiar, yet new. |
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| Berlioz and Toby |
Toulouse is still in that curious stage. He likes Toby, but likes to fain annoyance, too. He likes to lay in the middle of the carpeted walkway and then act grumpy as our gentle giant shakes his head, jingling his dog tags. As a cat, Toulouse is a show-off. He likes to jump from the floor to the top of the kitchen counters, or from one counter to the other in front of or over Toby. Toby just wants to be part of the action. He likes that I give him a kitty treat when the I spoil the cats! It is fun to watch such a big mouth eat such a little treat. He's lives up to his reputation as a gentle giant.
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| Toulouse cautiously watches Toby. |
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| Toby wonders how he can climb the cat tree to join the fun. |
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| It's a dog's life at the Burrow! |
I have spent this past year truly on my own. In doing so, I realize what I miss the most in life is physical, human touch. I am a person who likes to be close to another. I do reach out and make physical contact with those around me. I invade personal space bubbles. I give hugs. It's a good thing I teacher first grade, because I am a first grader at heart! I like to listen to others, but I also like to talk. I have a lot of friends, and no real enemies. I am a happy soul.
I love to watch others, but I am secretly jealous when I see hands being held or little acts of love being shown. It's a good envy. I imagine my parents were like that, and their love created me! True confession though...I mostly miss having a hand to hold on to and being kissed. I miss running my fingers though an other's hair, or caressing their face. I miss a confidant to tell my secrets. I miss having a partner who will just share the burden of living.
Going through my divorce has reminded me that I am a strong woman. Although I miss those physical, human touch things, I am really fine on my own. I do talk to my animals, and let them snuggle on my bed, but so what. I am me, and I am free to share love how I want. No judgments now. I believe you get in life what you give. I choose kindness.
So, who am I to give advice?
No one,
and someone who has been hurt
and who knows loss.
Life is too short.
I have been saying this since my dad passed away in 1985, but I started living this when my mom died in 2006.
I heard a comment recently, '... being together for so long...you get bored.' WTHeck???
Don't let this happen in your relationships! Your relationship may end without you realizing it because you were bored. No matter what relationship you are in...same sex partners, long/short term relationship or marriage. I say to you, love one another. It's likely you've been through a lot together. Remember that! Reminisce. Remind each other of the good in your hearts. Think about what drew you to that person. Chances are, they have forgotten, too. Trust me on this..the world is a lonely place and it's not easy starting over. Touch your loved one! Hold hands when you can. If you are riding in the car, hold hands. If you are walking in the grocery store, hold hands. If you are heading back to your bedroom, hold hands! Simply touch one another. I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about making physical connections. Reach out and push a hair out of some one's eyes, stroke their cheek, cup the back of their neck as you look into their eyes. Listen as they talk. Ask questions. Be engaged with them. If you do this in public know that if others see you, your love will be contagious. Maybe you can spark a different kind of movement. We all need to feel loved.
The lack of human touch was not what ended my marriage. I was married to someone who has a personality disorder. I still fear that I won't be able to allow someone close to my heart again because I am scared of being hurt. I just know I really miss human touch.
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I know I can love another human again, too.
I am working on spreading love, understanding and positivity. I hope you will, too.
~Lisa Kroll
love warrior, animal lover, happy soul
*******I do not know Toby's history.
Here is what I do know, English Setters are bred to be hunting/gun dogs. They have gentle mouths because they are bird dogs. They flush out prey and then will retrieve their hunters trophies. They are used as a tool, not kept as a pet. They are not fixed, because it is believed that neutering or spaying diminishes the hunting ability. When an English Setter reaches about five years of age, they are finished as a hunter.
When owners turn animals in to a shelter, and most are kill shelters, the animal's fate is sealed to die. On the other hand, when someone finds an animal that was dumped, and brings it into a shelter, that animal has at least a few weeks reprieve to be reconnected with it's owner. Or possibly, even be adopted by someone better!
Rescues, like Above and Beyond English Setter Rescue, whom I worked with to adopt Toby, step in to find homes for certain breeds.
English Setters do make wonderful house pets. It is likely that I will never be able to let Toby off his leash as we hike in the woods...his drive to hunt is very strong, but given space to run and someone to love, he will have a wonderful life.
Saturday, December 09, 2017
A Successful Online Relationship...
I finally met a guy online.
It was pretty much love at first site!
As with any relationship, there are things we will have to work through. For one, he's younger than I am, and all ready retired. He also has a lot of facial hair, which I like, but he looks to be a brown nose. Gosh, I hope he is!!!
He's currently living in Rochester, MN...with his mom.
His name is Tobias Edward Svenn, but everyone calls him Toby.
I'll be meeting him for the first time in Indy.
He's coming to live with me, and I really can't wait.
Stay tuned for more details.
~Lisa Kroll
love warrior, optimist, adventurer
It was pretty much love at first site!
As with any relationship, there are things we will have to work through. For one, he's younger than I am, and all ready retired. He also has a lot of facial hair, which I like, but he looks to be a brown nose. Gosh, I hope he is!!!
He's currently living in Rochester, MN...with his mom.
His name is Tobias Edward Svenn, but everyone calls him Toby.
I'll be meeting him for the first time in Indy.
He's coming to live with me, and I really can't wait.
Stay tuned for more details.
~Lisa Kroll
love warrior, optimist, adventurer
Sunday, July 16, 2017
Power. Grace. Wisdom. Wonder.
I treated myself to seeing the recent movie, Wonder Woman.
Before I walked into the theatre, I reflected back on my introduction to comic book heroines. The mid 70's were a time when young women started to see female comic book heroes come to life. Heroines in the comics adorned the small screen. That "I can do it" attitude was being laid in my 11 year-old foundation. In my youth, Isis was the first goddess I recall wanting to embrace. I was transformed by simply saying, "Oh Mighty Isis" as if that's all I had to do to become strong, to become powerful. That's what the female science teacher on the television show said in order for her to change.
As most youth, I had a wonderful imagination growing up. I enjoyed taking on the personality of many television characters. Isis was followed by The Bionic Woman, and next came Wonder Woman. These shows overlapped one another for a few years. Lynda Carter was the Wonder Woman of my youth. As a former Miss American, she was a kick-butt brunette, who had brains and curves. When I was younger, I had darker hair, and my Italian heritage hinted at curves that I would grow into. It would be several more years though before my hour glass shape truly took form. As for brains...well, I was studious, and ended my high school days in the top fifth of my class. I have always LOVED math and science, too. I don't recall exactly when my dad gave me a cuff bracelet that had belonged to him as a child, but I suspect it was around that time. Maybe he sensed that I needed a little help in feeling strong. Bra burning was popular and in the news during my youth. I would wear that cuff to ward off invisible bullets, or to gain my silent super powers. It didn't leave my wrist, and it was my secret weapon. I never told anyone how empowered it made me feel.
I spent time reflecting back on the little girl I was, and the woman I have become. A realization set over me. I have felt that the generation of ladies who preceded me were the ones who set the woman's rights movement in motion. I am grateful for them, but what have I contributed to help the cause??? Mostly, I followed social norms. I had children and stayed at home to raise them. I kept the house, did the cooking, and the cleaning. I supported the head of our household, as a good wife should. My staying home, meant our family looked to be at a higher status level than others. As I pause now, I think none of the roles I filled sound very much like I did my part to help the cause. Yet, I know I would do it all again, exactly the same way. Choices, we all make them. I made the conscious choice to stay home. No regrets. I have always been a teacher, I just didn't realize it. The lessons I needed to teacher were to a smaller groups of students.
Watching the Wonder Woman movie, I realized I am living in an era where women are still gaining power. Women are still finding out who they are and defining who we, as women, are suppose to become, which is to be an equal to all others. We are not only defining, for our gender, we are defining for all races what it means to be equal. Equality, that's the cause. Women are doing all this with grace, and with wisdom.
As a mother, I shared my love and compassion with my children. Those were two of the life lessons I taught. To see one's child help another, means my role as a mother and caregiver made a difference. Really, I was the strength that cemented the foundation of my household. I see that now. Power.
There are moments when I start to feel as if I am not fulfilling my part in society to help build powerful women. One of my friends sent me a book for my classroom library. It is a reminder that sometimes, when we feel we need to count on others, we really all ready have the strength we seek inside ourselves.
In honor or my friend, I made this bracelet. I know that we, both male and female, are really stronger than we think, or know.
I want to do my part to make society a better place. I want to show the world that I am not a slacker, who is riding on the coattails of women who came before me.
As I pause, I am reminded that I wake up, and live each day, and I inspire girls all around me. I went back to further my education, after I raised my family. I embarked on a career that I had always dreamt of holding. I am surviving, and thriving. I want to inspire my daughter, and my nieces. They can be and do anything they want in life! I believe in them, and I will be their biggest supporter. The other collateral beauty of my inspiration lands on my being able to inspire my sister, my friends, and my peers. The funny thing about inspiration...it is reciprocal. My sister, my friends and my peers also inspire me, as do my daughter and my nieces. Today, just like in my youth, there are many role models of strong, powerful, graceful, compassionate heroines who inspire all.
This summer, I have realized how important my female friendships are to my being. I believe we all need the friendship of many in our lives. Friendships at this stage in my life seem more meaningful, than they were when I was younger. There is a richness that comes with experiencing life, and I feel it allows me to connect in deeper, more meaningful ways with others. I find I can appreciate more of what lies beneath the surface in a person, too. I am cautious who I let close to my heart, but it is with my female friends that I know I can really let down my guard. We support one another emotionally, and are no longer trying to impress or out do each other. Maybe we've reached that stage in life where we all really do know how precious is our time left on this Earth. Although my close friends emotionally support me, and I them, I know that the world is still a competitive place and regularly women will knock one another down. I'm still trying to understand why. Is it out of fear? Fear of what though? Not getting ahead? Being liked more or less than someone else? I see it where I work, but it happens in all environments. Grown women can become mean girls. There are so many things we do to hurt one another...little digs, unspoken looks down noses, people being left out of the loop. I believe, in order for our society to become the place with which I am most comfortable for our future generations, we need a balanced world. We need more women in power.
Ladies, we need to support one another, and in all ways! We need to be kind and compassionate. We need to help one another. We need to elect women at the local level and then up through the ranks. We need to financially support strong, female candidates. We need to seed the campaigns of those who are comfortable speaking their minds on behalf of all of us; those with voices who will be heard. I certainly haven't been an example of someone who was comfortable speaking her mind and making waves. But "still, it calls me...." Men will not take care of our issues. They hear us, but they cannot know what it is that we truly need. We need a world that believes in equality, and compassion. Not equality and compassion just for women, but for all. During Wonder Woman, who stood up and walked through the battle field because she believed so strongly that what was happening was wrong?
I am officially now on my summer break. My camp teaching is over and I can relax. I am looking forward to a little quiet time to myself, and then I plan on filling my days with home improvement tasks and lunches, drinks, dinners, movies, what ever I can...with my friends who are girls! I need you my friends! Not just during the dog days of summer, but always.
And the call isn't out there at all...It's inside me...It's like the tide...Always falling and rising...I will carry you here in my heart...You'll remind me...That come what may...I know the way...
I WONDER where my future path is leading me?
~Lisa Kroll
I think I've just awakened the feminist in myself, and I really like it love warrior, feminist, teacher
Tonight's blogging music: Moana: Original Movie Soundtrack, with special thanks to my sister who made sure I now own it.
Before I walked into the theatre, I reflected back on my introduction to comic book heroines. The mid 70's were a time when young women started to see female comic book heroes come to life. Heroines in the comics adorned the small screen. That "I can do it" attitude was being laid in my 11 year-old foundation. In my youth, Isis was the first goddess I recall wanting to embrace. I was transformed by simply saying, "Oh Mighty Isis" as if that's all I had to do to become strong, to become powerful. That's what the female science teacher on the television show said in order for her to change.
As most youth, I had a wonderful imagination growing up. I enjoyed taking on the personality of many television characters. Isis was followed by The Bionic Woman, and next came Wonder Woman. These shows overlapped one another for a few years. Lynda Carter was the Wonder Woman of my youth. As a former Miss American, she was a kick-butt brunette, who had brains and curves. When I was younger, I had darker hair, and my Italian heritage hinted at curves that I would grow into. It would be several more years though before my hour glass shape truly took form. As for brains...well, I was studious, and ended my high school days in the top fifth of my class. I have always LOVED math and science, too. I don't recall exactly when my dad gave me a cuff bracelet that had belonged to him as a child, but I suspect it was around that time. Maybe he sensed that I needed a little help in feeling strong. Bra burning was popular and in the news during my youth. I would wear that cuff to ward off invisible bullets, or to gain my silent super powers. It didn't leave my wrist, and it was my secret weapon. I never told anyone how empowered it made me feel.
I spent time reflecting back on the little girl I was, and the woman I have become. A realization set over me. I have felt that the generation of ladies who preceded me were the ones who set the woman's rights movement in motion. I am grateful for them, but what have I contributed to help the cause??? Mostly, I followed social norms. I had children and stayed at home to raise them. I kept the house, did the cooking, and the cleaning. I supported the head of our household, as a good wife should. My staying home, meant our family looked to be at a higher status level than others. As I pause now, I think none of the roles I filled sound very much like I did my part to help the cause. Yet, I know I would do it all again, exactly the same way. Choices, we all make them. I made the conscious choice to stay home. No regrets. I have always been a teacher, I just didn't realize it. The lessons I needed to teacher were to a smaller groups of students.
Watching the Wonder Woman movie, I realized I am living in an era where women are still gaining power. Women are still finding out who they are and defining who we, as women, are suppose to become, which is to be an equal to all others. We are not only defining, for our gender, we are defining for all races what it means to be equal. Equality, that's the cause. Women are doing all this with grace, and with wisdom.
As a mother, I shared my love and compassion with my children. Those were two of the life lessons I taught. To see one's child help another, means my role as a mother and caregiver made a difference. Really, I was the strength that cemented the foundation of my household. I see that now. Power.
There are moments when I start to feel as if I am not fulfilling my part in society to help build powerful women. One of my friends sent me a book for my classroom library. It is a reminder that sometimes, when we feel we need to count on others, we really all ready have the strength we seek inside ourselves. In honor or my friend, I made this bracelet. I know that we, both male and female, are really stronger than we think, or know.
I want to do my part to make society a better place. I want to show the world that I am not a slacker, who is riding on the coattails of women who came before me.
As I pause, I am reminded that I wake up, and live each day, and I inspire girls all around me. I went back to further my education, after I raised my family. I embarked on a career that I had always dreamt of holding. I am surviving, and thriving. I want to inspire my daughter, and my nieces. They can be and do anything they want in life! I believe in them, and I will be their biggest supporter. The other collateral beauty of my inspiration lands on my being able to inspire my sister, my friends, and my peers. The funny thing about inspiration...it is reciprocal. My sister, my friends and my peers also inspire me, as do my daughter and my nieces. Today, just like in my youth, there are many role models of strong, powerful, graceful, compassionate heroines who inspire all.
See the line where the sky meets the sea? It calls me...
And no one knows, how far it goes...
If the wind in my sail on the sea stays behind me...
One day I'll know, how far I'll go...
This summer, I have realized how important my female friendships are to my being. I believe we all need the friendship of many in our lives. Friendships at this stage in my life seem more meaningful, than they were when I was younger. There is a richness that comes with experiencing life, and I feel it allows me to connect in deeper, more meaningful ways with others. I find I can appreciate more of what lies beneath the surface in a person, too. I am cautious who I let close to my heart, but it is with my female friends that I know I can really let down my guard. We support one another emotionally, and are no longer trying to impress or out do each other. Maybe we've reached that stage in life where we all really do know how precious is our time left on this Earth. Although my close friends emotionally support me, and I them, I know that the world is still a competitive place and regularly women will knock one another down. I'm still trying to understand why. Is it out of fear? Fear of what though? Not getting ahead? Being liked more or less than someone else? I see it where I work, but it happens in all environments. Grown women can become mean girls. There are so many things we do to hurt one another...little digs, unspoken looks down noses, people being left out of the loop. I believe, in order for our society to become the place with which I am most comfortable for our future generations, we need a balanced world. We need more women in power.
Ladies, we need to support one another, and in all ways! We need to be kind and compassionate. We need to help one another. We need to elect women at the local level and then up through the ranks. We need to financially support strong, female candidates. We need to seed the campaigns of those who are comfortable speaking their minds on behalf of all of us; those with voices who will be heard. I certainly haven't been an example of someone who was comfortable speaking her mind and making waves. But "still, it calls me...." Men will not take care of our issues. They hear us, but they cannot know what it is that we truly need. We need a world that believes in equality, and compassion. Not equality and compassion just for women, but for all. During Wonder Woman, who stood up and walked through the battle field because she believed so strongly that what was happening was wrong?
I am officially now on my summer break. My camp teaching is over and I can relax. I am looking forward to a little quiet time to myself, and then I plan on filling my days with home improvement tasks and lunches, drinks, dinners, movies, what ever I can...with my friends who are girls! I need you my friends! Not just during the dog days of summer, but always.
And the call isn't out there at all...It's inside me...It's like the tide...Always falling and rising...I will carry you here in my heart...You'll remind me...That come what may...I know the way...
I WONDER where my future path is leading me?
~Lisa Kroll
I think I've just awakened the feminist in myself, and I really like it love warrior, feminist, teacher
*****
Tonight's blogging music: Moana: Original Movie Soundtrack, with special thanks to my sister who made sure I now own it.
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