The Dating Game....Part 2

I decided to conduct some research this summer.  Using the rubric I created (see  What I'm looking for in my partner ), I jumped into the pool.  

Three stories....

*****

Match.com

Bachelor Number Two:  It was a rainy Tuesday.  I hopped on Match as I drank my morning coffee.  A very cute, and much younger guy caught my attention...thirty-nine year old, if you must know.  I shouldn't have done it, but I did.  I checked out his profile.  Several minutes later I received a message from him.  It said, "You have an amazing smile.  I hope you have an account here."  I responded that I did, but that I am not into younger men.  I was trying to stick to my guns and follow my self imposed rules, older guys only!  Our texting lasted all day.  Playful, fun. He was flirty and wanted flirty back.  I was having fun and his texts made my day more interesting.  I actually hoped he'd suggest we meet.  OMG! What was my problem!?  He was too young!  Right?  My inner self kept wondering. Am I cool enough to have a boy toy?  I mean, why not at least give it a shot?  I was bold and suggested we might enjoy meeting.  He didn't reply the same, just more online flirting.  I let down my guard.  We exchanged cell numbers, names and the flirting continued. He sent me a picture of himself at his house after working out.  Hmm!  It was a clean picture.  Suggestive, no shirt, and just low enough without being vulgar. Enticing.  I went out to run errands and even wrote for a bit, in hopes he'd ask what I was up to and come meet me.  He did ask what I was doing, but didn't ask to meet.  Should this be a red flag?  I wondered.  He told me he was in his bed and said I should go home.  It was closing time at my writing spot anyway, so I went home.  When I got home he sent me another picture.  Another enticing photo...he had bedroom eyes and was laying in bed.  Again, clean, but inviting.  He didn't ask me over.  He just hoped I'd send him a sexy picture.  I told him I wouldn't do that.  I didn't feel safe with him yet.  I am playful, and I would send a picture to my partner if I had one, but this guy was still very much a stranger to me.  With a note of reluctance, his responding text said we should meet sometime. There was no commitment on his end.  I did feel he sent that text to make me comfortable and hoped that I would let my guard down even farther. 

The next day I was meeting a friend up in Indy, and the following day I'd be back up there to meet my sister.  I told him my plans.  His comment back was, "Well, you need to get that out of your system."  What the???  I didn't ask what he meant, I just let it go.  I suspected he was trying to be cute, but thought he might be insecure. The next day I returned home just after 4pm, and I received this text from him: "Are you still shopping?"  I had said I was going to the Art Museum, I wasn't going to shop. Clearly he was making assumptions and not reading my messages. I said I was currently resting for a few minutes and then would go mow my yard.  I asked if I could text him later, when I was finished.  His one word response: "night". At about 8:30 I was done and I shot him a text.  No response.  At 10:15 I sent another message.  Nothing.  Twenty-four hours later he sent me a pondering face emoji. 🤔 

WTH?  Two days later he sent me a message via Match.  No longer were we communicating via cellphone.  He said he was sorry I didn't want to play with him.  Me too I guess, but not really.  I'm not into sexting.  Silly me, I hadn't even realized that's all he wanted.  Old dogs can have thick skulls at times.  Woof. 

End of Bachelor Number Two's nontraditional dating story. 
Time lasted:  What, maybe a day, really??? 

*****

~Lisa Kroll

  currently jaded, skeptical, and a non-believer in the existence of true love between unrelated human beings*

Epilogue: Dating sites are a hard place to spend time.  I think they are probably as hard for men as they are for women.  They hurt, not help self esteem.  In order to be noticed, one must write a catchy profile and include just the right pictures.  Even then, it's hard to meet the right someone.  Pay sites have fewer subscribers in my "little" town and free sites have too many people whom I am not interested in getting to know.  I suppose I'm grateful for the lessons I am taking away from this summer of playing The Dating Game. One guy sent me a message on a free site.  He said, "Ask me a question.  I'll answer"  So I did.  I said, "I have always wondered...Why do banks charge you for 'insufficient funds' when you don't have enough money in your account to pay it?" Needless to say, we never did connect. 

I feel we live in a society where humans have trouble interacting in person. So many people play games on line, on a computer or at home through smart TV's and gaming systems. I think this separates us from reality and online dating is just another version of these virtual games.  Maybe I'm wrong, and it's just harder when one has previously been married for a long time, or has children still at home to be able to connect with other available souls. I really don't know how to help my path cross that of others who might be ready for a relationship.  I have this ominous feeling that unless I put myself "out there", I am destined to remain alone.  Certainly others feel this way as well?  Maybe this is part of the online dating game.  

Goodbye dating sites. I need a life preserver to swim in your waters, and you don't provide this.  In fact, you make my heart feel empty and alone, which is the exact opposite of what you say you are selling.  

                                 *this is just a stage, I hope.  

Blogging listening music:  

     mostly The Piano Guys Pandora station...slightly classical, slightly romantic. 

To read about Bachelor Number One...click here 
To read about Bachelor Number Three...click here