Mom had positive results. The radiation seems to be doing it's job. There was a spot the surgeon couldn't remove - just found that out after the results - but I guess the radiation shrunk that spot. That's good. There is another spot. It didn't change at all. Not bigger, not smaller. The doctors say they will watch that spot but they aren't terribly concerned.
My emotions are so mixed.
Mom did a second round of chemo. She's now on the 23 days off, five days on cycle. She'll have her next MRI on Sept. 27. I think her next 5 day round of chemo will be on Sept 4. I wonder how many months this will continue.
I got a chance to see mom last weekend. My husband went too. He thinks mom looks better than I think she looks. She does have better color. And she looked like she might have more energy. But, she's not really moving around. Grandma is making her walk up and down the hallway. I think it's about 5 minutes at the most of walking a day. All she does is complain about that. Mom says all she's like is a day to sleep and not have anyone bug her.
I can look into mom's eyes and tell she's not the same person. I realize she may have some dead cells up in the tumor site. I also realize that the radiation and the tumor may have caused some permanent damage. But her lack of desire to get up, get dressed, get out, get off the couch, get back to her own home...I am struggling with. I also found a website with updated information. It is really depressing. Here's the link, http://www.emedicine.com/Med/topic2692.htm
I suspect if mom doesn't get up and move really soon, if she doesn't feel the desire to go on she won't make it much past Thanksgiving.
I don't feel like I can tell anyone my thoughts. I think my husband feels I am obsessing on all this too much. Maybe mentally I am cracking. I think I need to get some counseling soon.
