Crazy, Gorilla, or Trash?

Relationships bind human beings together.  Maybe you believe in love at first site?  Or maybe you are one of those people who thinks a friendship must grow first before love can blossom. I'm still learning to love that person who makes up my soul. I know that before I can love another, I need to satisfy my need to know and love myself.  I'm still working on untangling my life, or at least learning to run my new life parallel to my old memories.  Little things can trigger emotions.  

**** 

When two people get married, they share so much, and it is understandable that their lives become intertwined.  Even the bible defines how deeply this bond will become: ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’ ~ Matthew, Chapter 19.   

Divorce.  
It won't kill you, but it does shatter life.  
It may shatter a family, other relation -ships, and traditions.  When something shatters one contemplates, is Crazy Glue, or Gorilla Glue best to be used to mend breaks?  As with some broken things, sometimes the trash can is the best option.  What isn't meant to be, needs to be tossed away, or released so a fresh start may happen.

Shattered.....households.  
After my divorce, I made choices that were good for me.  I chose to stay in the house I love, my burrow.  If you look around, you'd see I haven't changed much there.  The house was always a reflection of me.  The love that has flowed through my veins, oozes out and fills that space.  By choosing to live in the burrow, I chose to have my ex-mil right next door.  I accepted, and knew that.  I knew I'd have my former family in and out of my space.  I didn't realize how challenging it could be at times.  Things happen next door and I am not a part of them.  Of course.  That's how life is after divorce.  Things happen in my house too, and my neighbors are not a part of them.  Still, it can hurt.  Mail arrives at my house with his name on it.  Because he changed his physical location, he never has to see my name in his mailbox.  Old habits were that my mil could walk right into my house.  She continues to bring me mail that gets delivered to her.  Even pieces of junk mail, that have his and my name on them.  I know she has to accept things he has done.  He is, after all, her blood...her son.  I am not sure I'll heal enough to mend my relationship with her in this lifetime.  I admit, I hold her responsible for raising him to become the person he has become.  I am not able to separate her from him.   

Shattered ..... friendships.  
Social events I used to attend, and be a part of, are no longer in my life.  Someone else fills the space I once occupied. I do realize that the community doesn't have to go home with my ex, so it matters not to them if they hang out with him for a few hours.  It doesn't matter if he attends these events with me, or with someone new. The community is natural curious.  What is she like?  Who is this new person who thinks she can fill Lisa's shoes?  Maybe the hardest things for me to handle are friend's vocal curiosities.  Some have the gall to ask, 'Is he married now (to the woman he left you for)?'  Think about that...I am asked about HIS state of affairs?  I wonder if he is asked about me?  What can the community possibly say to him about me?  Hopefully, it says, and he hears again and again and again, "Oh, my gosh, Lisa is AMAZING!! She seems to be thriving more than anyone I have ever seen." I certainly feel I am thriving in most areas of my life.  My once contained spirit is feeling comfortable stepping out into the world.  

Some moments I wonder, 
who is this woman living inside my skin?
Where has she been hiding?  

Those moments are getting more frequent, but I do get knocked back down now and again by reality.  Once in a blue moon, someone will say to me, "I looked him up on FB." "I saw pictures of...." O.M.G. I don't need to hear this!!!  

I wear invisible chain mail over my heart. 
I fake being strong better than most anyone knows, but I do have a breaking point.  Sometimes, when I am asked certain, thoughtless questions, I wish to just die.  
Then I remember, 
divorce doesn't kill.

Shattered ..... family traditions and in-law relationships.  
Suddenly, children find they need to split their time, or make choices.  They know how things have always been and may expect all around to make life seem normal.  Life is anything but normal.  Former mother-in-laws may act much like children, and hope life can go on as if not much has changed.  Divorce changes everything. There is no handbook that states how long it takes for one to get over such a deep hurt. 

Feelings ..... shatter, they cannot be collected and mended with glue.  Nor can they be tossed into a trash can.  My traditions have been shattered.  There isn't a glue strong enough to salvage these important parts of my heart.  I have had to toss my old life aside.  New traditions are emerging.  Sometimes parts of those old traditions I have loved, are woven into the new traditions I have started.  I suppose that is natural.

Coming off the heels of Thanksgiving, where one should feel thankful for all they have, I sometimes am reminded of all no longer in my life.  My parents are gone.  My own children are grown and no longer live under my roof.  My family by marriage...well, divorce changes everything.  I no longer have a place there.  

Shattering 
draws an image of millions of tiny shards. 
But shards, 
when looked at in the right light 
twinkle brighter 
than the object they formerly formed.  

My heart knows I sparkle more now than I ever did.  I feel there might be a super nova beneath my surface.  I wonder if 2017 will be the year it is released?   

~Lisa Kroll, eating, praying and loving
...always thinking about life
 and finding beauty in the thinking and in life in general

Blogging music:  Home Alone - Soundtrack (1990) by John Williams

For the love of siblings....

Siblings = longest family relationships

Thanksgiving 2016
With my Sister and Brother

This recent holiday, I shared my home with my siblings, and our children. There were 11 of us in and out of my house over Thanksgiving.  

*******

I spent 16 years growing up with just my brother in my life.  Our baby sister arrived as a surprise blessing long after my brother and I had ironed out our hierarchy.  She was, of course a band camp baby.  Have I told this story?  I was 15 and my brother 13 when our parents sat us down.  "Do you remember that baby you always prayed for, Lisa?"  Yes, of course I do.  "Well, next summer we are going to have a job for you." Really?  But I all ready have a job, at Hannon's.  "Next summer you will be babysitting too."  I was slow on processing what was being said.  My brother, on the other hand, made the connection faster than I.  "What? That's means you did it. Gross. When did it happen?" "We don't know exactly when it happened." "Ugh, that means you did it more than once?"  My brother and I decided it MUST have happened while we were at summer band camp, never mind that the timing didn't work out.  

Our sister missed out on puddle playing, sandlot war games, tree climbing, cousin navigating, family camping/vacations, l-o-n-g car rides, after school latch key-ness, summer babysitter training(we had to train them to deal with us), several months of farm living, new house construction, new schools, boy/girl friends being tortured, car radio dial controlling, calling shotgun, dish washing rituals, Friday night euchre games, weekend chores, becoming invisible when dad paid bills, Sunday dinner at grandma and grandpa's combined with the lack of Sunday night Walt Disney's Wonderful World of Color watching when grandpa was sleeping in front of the TV with 60 Minutes on instead of our favorite, and the birth of a sibling.  

A few years after her birth, our sister did experience our father's death with us, but she was 5 and we were 19 and 21.  We felt our roles shift from siblings to caretakers of our mom and little sister.  I know my brother felt a weight on his shoulders as the man of the family after dad died.  Our mother struggled with the loss of her love, and I know I felt responsible for helping life remain normal for my sister. I was set to stay home from college, I had three years completed.  I thought I should stay at home, go to the extension maybe, and help, as did my brother.  Our paternal grandfather wouldn't hear of it.  He said the best way we could honor our father would be to go back to campus and finish college.  Grandma and Grandpa said they would be there for mom and our sister.  And they were.  Still, there was so much my mom needed to go through and they couldn't help her emotionally.  Hindsight is 20/20, and my recent life experience has made me understand that mom needed time to grieve.  Which was exactly what she was doing. 

My brother and I spent many hours during the summer of our dad's death sitting by his grave and talking.  We were supposed to be at church...but we weren't.  We'd take turns running into church to pick up a bulletin as proof that we went, then we'd go buy donuts and sit with dad.  We reminisced about our past and pondered our future. Mom didn't question us when we returned from church.  Christmas was her favorite time of the year.  That first Christmas, both my brother and I were at IU and working retail.  We worked Christmas eve, then headed home to attend midnight mass with mom and our sister.  After church I discovered that mom was still mourning...what did I expect: her loss was just six months old.  Mom had bought Christmas gifts, but she couldn't bring herself to wrap them.  After church, I went to the basement and wrapped all the gifts.  The next morning was our first Christmas without dad.  Mom was so depressed, she struggled to get out of bed.  My brother and I pleaded with her to get up.  She had a five-year old and Santa HAD to come.  Somehow we made it through that Christmas, together.  After that, each Christmas was easier.  I was home for the two summers after dad died.  I watched my sister by day then worked nights so my mom could work days, and my sister didn't have to go to summer daycare.  

Being together as a family has always been easy.  In our early years, my brother and I had spent a significant amount of time pounding on one another, "He's touching me!" "She started it!" "He's in my airspace!" "She coughed on me, on purpose!!!" "He ate the bigger half of the...!" "She took the last...!" "He's looking at me!" "She laughed!" It was how we worked out our hierarchy and it was what bonded us together. I was good at punching my brother, then timing it where mom or dad would see him retaliating.  I think it was a gift I had.  We were experts at driving Mom and Dad a little bonkers.  But in times of crisis, I do know I can count on my brother for anything.  All the experiences we have shared, have made us a strong family unit...even as we have grown and now have our own families.  My sister and I have shared experiences too, but mostly they started as the ones surrounding the seven months of our mom's battle with cancer. We walked that walk together with our brother, but it was mostly my sister and I who took the reins of that beast.  Since then, my sister has helped me celebrate points in my life.  She traveled with me to Disney World where I turned the big 5-0, she helped celebrate my receiving my Masters, and she's been my rock through my divorce.  

My sister and her husband grew up as only children.  These past few days together, I watched their children be normal siblings.  They argued, they socked one another, they played together, they laughed, they negotiated, they snuck around, they mothered/fathered one another, and they shared, always having the others in mind.  My sister worried that her kids were being too loud, too rambunctious, talked too much, were too messy, etc.  They were being kids.  What I saw was family bonding in progress: love building.  They were away from their home base and yet they had one another.  I am a little sad for my sister and BIL that they didn't grown up with siblings close to their age or at all. They stress out when their kids are being normal kids.  It's a kids job to stress their parents out a little!

I wouldn't trade my life experience of having siblings for anything.  My sister, my brother and I were all lucky, and brave enough, to give our children siblings close to their own age.  I trust all our kids will know they have someone they can truly count on when times get tough.  Hopefully they can look at their parent and Aunt or Uncle as good examples of how one should love, respect and stand by their siblings as they age.

After our mom died, I felt even more responsible for the family.  I'm the patriarch now.  I hope I am doing things correctly.  If I don't hand down family traditions, how will our legacy go on? New traditions happen, but I don't want my parents to be forgotten.  What a huge weight of responsibility.  

~Lisa Kroll
          sister, mother, aunt (spelled ant at times), friend, and family member

Tonight's blogging music had me thinking of my mom mostly as she loved Christmas.    Straight No Chaser: all their Christmas music...but my favorite, Indiana Christmas.  

Feeling a little Stevie Wonder-ish....

I'm Trying to think back on what type of music my dad preferred...I'm drawing a blank.  

My brother, who rode to work with my dad during the last summer dad was alive, confirmed there was country music in dad's car, but it was mostly talk radio he listened to - Warren Frieberg and Paul Harvey.  I recall several songs that stuck out. In the Country genre...You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me Lucille, by Kenny Rogers.  Most of dad's favorites were NOT country hits...Freddie Fender's, Feliz Navidad.  Dad LOVED that song. Oh, Lord It's Hard to be Humble (When You are Perfect in Every Way), by Mac Davis.  For some odd reason he also really liked Pink Floyd's, Another Brick in the Wall.  Eclectic tastes?  Self discovery noted!  The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!  

What a crazy mix of music!  When we were really young, on Sunday after church, we'd go visit one of the grandparent households.  The music of choice on Sunday...Polkas.  I swear, Polkas!  There were Chicago radio stations that we could just barely receive on the car tuner.  Polish victory when The Beer Barrel Polka came on, or I Don't Want Her You Can Have Her (she's too fat for me), and In Heaven There is No Beer (that's why we drink it here). 

The song that makes me recall my dad the most?  Stevie Wonder's, I Just Called to Say I Love You.  When I hear that song, I am sure it's my dad's way of reaching down from the heavens and telling me his spirit is still in my heart.  

I wonder what song/s might trigger that reaction in my own children? 

*****

When I was in my early 20's, my dad died and my brother and I were old enough to be off to college.  Our baby sister was still at home, she was just five years old.  My brother and I lived together for almost two years during college.  We rented a house and had a third roomie; a friend from high school.  It was Three's Company in reverse.  During that time, mom wouldn't call as regularly as I thought she should.  She didn't check in and I was miffed.  Did she NOT care???  My brother and I talked about it.  We compared notes, "Have you heard from mom?" "When did you talk to mom last?" Sometimes we'd wait her out..."I'm NOT calling her!"  Our poor mom, when she did call, we'd give her the third degree topped with a little snotty attitude.  

Today, I finally get it.  I love my kiddos, but I have faith that I have raised them to be independent, capable souls.  Now, is the time for me to worry about me, and not worry about them.  I will always worry, but I'm not worried!  My oldest nephew is heading off to college in a few short months.  I'm sure my brother will go through the same separation that I did, the same separation our mother experienced.  It is how life is supposed to happen.  

When Katy Perry, or Ed Sheeran, or Vampire Weekend or fill in the blank, come on in a grocery store, elevator or the radio...I hope my kids will smile and say, "Our mom...her music choices...and laugh."  

I miss my parents.  I'm glad I have my siblings with whom I can share awesome memories.  

Tonight's blogging music:  Vampire Weekend, Ed, Katy, and my Disney playlist which includes: Baroque Hoedown (Electric Parade Theme Music from Disney World), Tapestry of Nations (Epcot's World Showcase fireworks music), The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Lion King), Let It Go, Reindeer(s) are Better than People (Frozen), Something That I Want (Tangled), Zero to Hero, I Can Go the Distance (Hercules), Two Worlds, You'll Be in My Heart (Tarzan)....and other wonderful, bouncy songs!!!  

~Lisa Kroll, age 52, 10 weeks and one day...
It's official...I've outlived my dad!  
Woo Hoo for small victories!  Time to really live now.

Exemplars

(noun)  

a person or 
thing serving as a 
typical example 
or excellent model


Tonight I am reflecting back on the love I witnessed growing up with my perspective, colored by age and life experience.  

My parents.  My exemplars.  

Each was a beautiful soul.  They cared so deeply about one another, and about family.  Family gatherings...weddings, funerals, religious celebrations, birthdays, holidays...were BIG events.  It seemed we were always celebrating something, and the only friends I had for a long time, were ones who were related to me. I'm sure my cousins might have had this same feeling! My roots are Italian and Polish, with some of my greats having come directly over from the mother countries.  Although Italian and Polish were spoken by a few of the elders, sadly I did not pick up any of either language.  Great aunts and uncles, regular aunts and uncles, first, second, and third cousins and their spouses attended the weddings and funerals.  It seemed someone was always getting married or dying.  

I literally grew up thinking I was related to everyone who lived in my community until I went to fifth grade.  The summer before I entered the fifth grade, my parents moved to a new community.  The funny thing was, many of our friends and family from my first community moved as well, joining my new community.  

Beyond family, my parents knew everyone and everyone knew them.  

It was common knowledge that if a neighbor needed ANYTHING, they could count on my parents. Thinking about this now, I'm sure the feeling was reciprocated.  My dad was an Electrical Engineer by trade and my mom was an office manager for a doctor's office, but within our community dad was a volunteer fireman and mom was a certified Emergency Medical Technician volunteer.  They were always "on call", and helped whenever needed.  I vividly remember emergencies in the middle of the night where both my parents responded, along with all the other volunteer emergency crew. On top of volunteering, both my parents were involved with my brother and I as were were growing up.  Mom did typical mom stuff: organized summer camps, was a volunteer in my school, served on the PTA, AND had a Ceramic business out of our basement.  As my brother and I aged, both our parents involvement changed as well.  Our parents were chaperones on band trips, and dad even had a chauffeur's license so he could drive the school bus for those trips. I had the coolest parents.    

Visible to others was a couple who truly were a super couple.  

As a child, I witnessed the backside of an amazing love.  

I never noticed if my brother and I lacked material goods.  However, I do recall that once a month, dad would balance the checkbook.  This was code for my brother and I to disappear into our rooms.  We were neither seen, nor heard during the balancing of the checkbook.  Dad was generally an even tempered person.  Mom was a spender.  I guess mom just knew things would be okay.  Dad didn't always agree and when this happened, his even temper became off kilter.  They would argue, but in the end they would assure my brother and I that they loved each other.  And they did.  My parents were not perfect, and they knew that about themselves and one another.  They were willing to overlook imperfections and love with their whole heart anyway.  They laughed together, played together, helped the community together, and loved their family together.  

An Aunt recently sent me the above photograph.  As I looked at it, my eyes teared up.  I miss them both so much.  I hope, and I think their spirit lives within my heart.  I know I longed to be a part of a super couple, but I also know that because of my parents, there isn't anything I can't do all by myself.  Part of my journey now is to learn to forgive myself for not living up to that exemplar I knew.  They were just one example.  

In today's society extended families have drifted apart and with these drifts core values have become diluted.  I feel we live in a society that no longer promotes super couples.  I think we encourage too many selfish behaviors and not enough behaviors of taking care of one another.  Our older generations still get it, but souls my age seem more selfish, and our youth...I am worried for them. Maybe I have become a skeptic.  Maybe, as I continue to age, I'll see the cycle repeat and super couples will again be a thing.  Time will tell.  

Regardless, with my friends I will continue to laugh, play, help my community, and love my family.  In my own way I will be a reflection of the exemplar above, and hopefully encourage others along the way.  Thank you friends, for loving me on this journey.  

~Lisa Kroll
         ponderer of emotions  

Tonight's blogging music...  

from Adele's 25, Remedy, Sweetest Devotion; 
from Ed Sheehan's X, One, Tenerife Sea, Thinking Out Loud, Shirtsleeves; 
From Ed Sheehan's 5, Be Like You, Let It Out, Where We Land; 
from Ed Sheehan's +, Kiss Me, Give Me Love; 
from Dean Martin, You're Nobody 'Til Somebody Loves You, Sway.  

Old Music...Person B's Perspective: How Divorce Effects the Entire Family

There are some tasks that we just never take time to complete.  
Tasks that we think, some day I'll get to that.  

Christmas Night, 2015
I had my house all to myself.  

Divorce changes the holidays.  
I am no longer part of my in-laws celebrations.  Ties have been cut.  I am told that I will always be part of the family, but quite honestly, that's not true.  I have been set free.  If I am allowed to celebrate, it is at a separate time.  
Changes.  
New traditions? 
Possibly. 

My Christmas stocking no longer hangs on the fireplace at the house next door.  
No longer will I be asked to contribute to making food for the feast.  
Touches of me remain however.  Ornaments I made by hand are still put up on the tree.  Decorations I purchased sit around the room.  But physically, I am not there.  I sit next door.  Alone.  Contemplating my solitude.  
I am good.  And I AM mentally good.  

In a divorce the couple, whose marriage is ending, must process the changes.  Usually one of those two people (person A) is farther along in the process.  They are typically the person who files and hands the other person (person B) their dismal papers.  Consequently, person B may be at a disadvantage, they need to catch up with the emotions that spill out.  Maybe they were blindsided.  Maybe they assumed what was happening was just a normal part of a long time marriage, as children age and leave the nest. 

Regardless, the emotional playing field is not equal.   There are five stages of grief that, even in the death of a marriage, person B must go through.  Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.  

Having experienced the great loss of holding my mom's hand as she took her last breath after her seven month battle with Glioblastoma Multiforme (GBM), stage four brain cancer, I am well aware of these stages.  These stages do not necessarily come and visit in a set order.  Nor do they visit just once and leave.  

I am hoping that I am nearing the stage of Acceptance.  My ex has certainly moved on.  I hear he's applied for a marriage license, just six months after our divorce, and he's buying a nice big house for his new "family".  I've also heard he has been telling others that he socked away money while we were married.  Hmm.  What a catch!  

The Anger Stage.  I have recently been visiting here again.  I'm not angry with what I am going through.  Quite the opposite.  In fact, I am grateful for the me that I have allowed to surface again.  I really like me.  I won't brag, but I have found there isn't anything I can't do when I put my mind to it.  I have also discovered the vast number of friends I have.  In the "olden days", I was told I called too many people my friend.  HAHAHAHA!!!!!  Never!  Oh, I still have moments when loneliness strikes.  Being alone is easy, being lonely, not so much.  No holding this girl down though.  I was reminded at Christmas with this Superwoman key chain gift.  

I am in the Anger stage for my children.  I feel my children are being discarded.  They no longer offer any thing person A can use, or benefit from.  They are adults.  No longer are they cute little children who turn to their parents for every little thing.  No longer do they laugh at all jokes.  No longer do they put their parents up on the pedestals that young children do.  They cannot be told 'go to bed', 'be home by...', 'No', 'because I said so", etc.  They are ready to move forward and be their own people, as they should.  They have opinions.  They question.  They have started to experience life.  

What I know... is that children, no matter how old, need to believe the best in their parents.  They want to be loved.  They want to know they can count on their parents/guardians/grandparents for unconditional love.

Divorce causes children to be forced to experience the stages of grief as well. I wish I could protect my children from this.  I have not been able to step aside in this process and ask them how they are doing.  I just haven't been able to be that strong.  I was broken myself.  Maybe now as I am feeling Acceptance upon me, I am able to see what my own two children have had to deal with.  I am so sorry for them.  Everything they believed about their childhood has been pulled out from under them. The foundation they once thought was so strong has been shattered.  All I can offer them is my love, my acceptance and my unconditional love.  

By the forward relationships they have with person A and person B, they get to continue to form their own opinions.  They get to discover truths on their own.  Life is made up of constant change.  How we handle that change defines us as individuals.  

Last night (Christmas night) I meant to blog.  Instead, I did one of those tasks I would someday get to...I listened to all the unnamed tracks on my iTunes list.  A simple little job, but one my precious time is never allowed to get to.  All tracks have been named!  My discovery?  I have a nice collection of Madonna's music.  

So tonight, I am one strong woman listening to another strong woman, knowing I helped create two strong children.  My children are the best parts of both of their parents.  Of course I'm positive they have 51% of their mom in them.  

~Lisa Scubelek-Kroll

blogging music tonight:  All Madonna...Vogue, Cherish, Crazy For You, Justify My Love, La Isla Bonita, Like a Prayer, Like a Virgin, Live to Tell, Material Girl, Open Your Heart, Papa Don't Preach, Express Yourself

Fresh Start......Home Is Where the Heart Is

Last weekend, I returned to my roots.  

My soul needed a little kick start.  

I went to see my parents.  

I feel a certain weight on my shoulders as the oldest of my siblings.  

Neither my brother nor my sister make me feel any extra responsibilities, but as a child growing up, I knew it was my place to be there for my siblings.  I felt it was expected of me to be the strength, the leader, the one who could get done what needed to get done.  I was to be the second-in-command should anything happen to our parents.  By default in 2006, I became commander-in-chief.  Up until around January of 2013, I felt I was doing a pretty good job of being the fearless leader.  Looking back now, I WAS doing a great job...THAT was the problem.  

The journey I am currently on is one many take.  It's called Life.  

My ring was my mom's.  The center diamond was her engagement ring from dad.
I wear it daily on my right hand to remind me of my parents strong bond and love.

 Sometimes leaders need to know when they should ask for help.  They need to know when to lean on others, and whom they can turn to for support.  My family...and I do mean my siblings, have been the souls whom I know I could count on. (I have several friends as well, but tonight...) Family is an important part of Life.  Life may be filled with challenges.  Challenges make us strong.  They draw out in us who we really are deep down inside.  Challenges show our character.  I believe by example, my parents showed me how to be the strong woman that I am today.  We learn from family.  Family allows us a safe place to grow.

 There are statues at the
cemetery close to my
parents graves.  I do
not visit where I grew
up often.  When I do,
I wonder who carved
these statues?  What
i this one supposed
to be thinking about?




I liked how the light played on the feather pen of the statue below.  If you are one who believes in ghosts...what do you see?  What do you think the meaning of this picture might be?

My parents have a beautiful view of Valparaiso University.  I find this interesting since neither went to college.  

 I was the first of my family to go to and finish college.  This weekend I thanked my parents for my degrees.  It was truly because of my mom that I was able to go back to school and get my Masters.

I confessed to my parents that my life wasn't going as I had expected.  I might have even shed a tear or two.  I didn't think I would be single at the age of 51.  I am perceptive enough to know, that my parents did raise a very smart, independent girl who is going to be just fine.  I'm still on my Life Journey.  I'm still growing and morphing into who I need to be.  I'm loving life once again and I am happy.  Have you seen the movie Inside Out?  Sadness adds to Joy.  My sadness has made me a richer person.  My soul has been moved, and truly knows how to live with Joy.  I start each day thinking about what I am grateful for in life.  I end each day thanking God for all my blessings.

On Saturday, my "baby" sister and I took flowers to the graves of several of our family members.  

I think Cemetery Selfies could be a new thing.  

Wish our brother could have been with us.  

Best Parents.  Ever.
They taught me how to be the best parent I could be to my own two blessings.

Tonight's music:  Joshua Bell's, At Home With Friends

Love one another. Be kind in Life. Know that sadness will happen, but joy will always follow.  

~Lisa 

Names and Emoji's.....

Welcome to the 21st Century!  

Dysfunctional
(adj)  deviating from the norms of social behavior in a way regarded as bad.

Text-chatting with my siblings tonight and the word dysfunctional came up.  I do not think we are dysfunctional.  In fact, I think the opposite.  I think many families would be jealous of the ease we share with one another.  

Our conversation tonight was a simple one:

Bean :

Did you both get a print of my kids wearing yellow?  I have some at home and can't remember!

My Other Brother, Larry:

I don't recall seeing that one in my house.....I think I saw it online 😀 (Smile face)

Bean :

Oh poo!  I'll pop it in the mail! 

My Other Brother, Larry:

Not a problem 

Bean :

I think Lisa got hers for her birthday!

My Other Brother, Larry:

Yeah.....I understand she's the favorite 😜 (Smile face with tongue hanging out)

Bean :

She's getting old.  I'm just nice to her so she remembers who I am as she ages

My Other Brother, Larry:

I'll give you that one!

Lisa :

jerks

yes I got one, I am the favorite.  But I’m everyone’s favorite.  😊 (Smile face)

My Other Brother, Larry:

Eh?

Bean :

Eh.  At least you know we are thinking about you 

Lisa :

I am getting old.  

Respect your elders

My Other Brother, Larry:

We all are

Lisa :

I’m young at heart though

My Other Brother, Larry:

I'm just immature

Keeps me from growing up

Lisa :

😊 (Smile Face)

Bean :

Lol

Lisa :

Love you both.  And your families as well.  

My Other Brother, Larry:

Same.....

Bean :

Love you guys too!!  XO

Gotta pack!  I'm going to -------- tomorrow!!

My Other Brother, Larry:

 ---------?  Enjoy 

Be safe

Lisa :

Godspeed Bean!  😊 (Smile face)

(I ❤️ that word!)

My Other Brother, Larry:

Bean?

Bean :

Yeah.  Bean.  Where you been?  

Or should I say, "where ha bean?"

LarryO

My Other Brother, Larry:

Yeah, now you have crossed the line

Lisa :

Little, Little Larry-O.  

You sort of need to yodel it, Bean

Like Larry-he-ho

Bean :

Oh good!  I'll try that next time!

My Other Brother, Larry:

A vision I don't need to think of is you two yodeling

Lisa :

I’m crying from laughing!

My Other Brother, Larry:

Picturing alpine outfits

Lisa :

Are we swedish?

in your image I mean

My Other Brother, Larry:

This is getting weird!

Bean :

Getting?  

We've always been

Lisa :

still crying from laughing

My Other Brother, Larry:

Weird is good..... Dysfunctional is the new normal

Lisa :

😊 (smile)

I need to walk my pooch!  Night you two!  Signing off…Lisa the Pizza-Pie

Bean :

👍 (Thumbs up)

My Other Brother, Larry:

Enjoy your evenings!  😍 (Smile face with heart eyes)

Lisa :

laters!

My Other Brother, Larry:

😈 (Devil smile face)

Bean :

😇 (Angel smiley face)

My Other Brother, Larry:

👹 (wild thing head)

👀 (pair of eyes)

Lisa :

👯 (Dancing twins, who look to be wearing  Mickey Mouse ears)

Bean :

That is so weird

My Other Brother, Larry:

🍪(cookie)

🍸(martini)

Lisa :

I know.  It cracks me up!

Bean :

🐽 (pig nose)

Lisa :

🎮 (Old  NES hand control)

Bean :

🍟(French Fries, from   McDonalds)

🍙 (food item?)

What is this? 🍙🍘(two different food items???)

My Other Brother, Larry:

💊(Pill)

Lisa :

🍖(Dog bone wrapped in ? chicken???)

Bean :

💠 (blue diamond like flower???)

Lisa :

is this a candy wrapper or a dog bone wrapped in something?  

My Other Brother, Larry:

🚫(No sign, like do not enter)

Bean :

And what's the point of this!??🔵🔴⚪️⚫️◼️◻️◾️◽️▪️▫️🔲🔳⚫️⚫️ (Circles, Squares, etc)

My Other Brother, Larry:

🈸🈵🈁🈹💹🈲🈯️ (Chinese symbols)

Bean :

We are having entirely too much fun with emotions.  

My Other Brother, Larry:

And I mean it

Lisa :

📺📻📷📹🎥⏰retro stuff (old TV, Radio, Camera, Video Camera, 8mm camera, clock)

Bean :

We ARE weird! 😜 (Smile face with tongue out)

Lisa :

I need to blog about this. 

You have both been warned

Help me with a title. 

For my post

My Other Brother, Larry:

🍩 (doughnut)

Bean :

I gotta go  (finding suitcase emoticon...)

Lisa :

Laters!!!  Still need a post title. 

Bean :

✈️ (airplane)

Lisa :

Then blogging

Bean :

🚅 pretty sure this is a monorail

Just sayin

Lisa :

I thought that too

Should be purple

or not

Bean :

Night!!!! XO 😋😜(two different smile face with tongue out)

Lisa :

Laters!!!

My Other Brother, Larry:

🐄💩 (cow, pile   of poop  with  a  smile  face  on  it)

Ciao

Did you notice we digressed at some point?  Emoji's took over.  Have you ever really looked at all those?  What are some of those supposed to be?  When would one ever use some of those?  I can't figure it out. Seriously, the retro ones I posted mean that there is a generation who knows what those are supposed to be AND has jumped into the 21st century.  Baby Boomers who have embraced technology.  

                                                         ••••••••

Growing up, I was blessed to have an extended family filled with cousins. We all have/had nicknames.  I know my brother and I decided on our sister's nickname, but how we got ours?  I do not know.  I was Lisa, The Pizza Pie. My brother was Larry-O (a.k.a. Little Larry, after our father).  My sister, the baby...Eileen, the Bean.  No one, save us, is allowed to use those names. Those are ours.  Our tie to our parents, and to our shared past.  Once in awhile my cousins, the older ones, will call me Pizza.  They are also allowed. 

------------
My Latest obsession:  Taylor Swift's album 1989

Have listened to every song on that album over and over and over in the past 24 hours.  I've had the CD for weeks, but really just listened to it all.  IT'S GREAT!!!  She is one talented lady.  

Tonight:  Wildest Dreams (click here to hear it)...LOVE IT! 
                              lyrics click here
My regret is that I cannot sing.  I do, but...I am a teacher, not a singer.  I know my limitations.  Thank goodness for closed doors and windows.

Traveling....again...alone...

Last week I slipped out of town.  This trip I was not to use social media, at all.  THAT was hard!  I did not do a great job of following the rules.  Oh well, I was pretty good.

This was a driving adventure to visit family and Winston was able to go along.  I was very happy to have company and he was very happy to go for a ride.  My favorite part of this trip may have been his cuddling with me on the bed at night.  He is SO lucky that my relatives have two dogs of their own and love him!

Before I break down my trip, here's a snippet of how the week went:

 Winston's cousins, shared their toys. 

 Went to an Antique Flea Market...note the REAL stuffed Bush Deer, REAL Zebra skin and REAL stuffed goat head.  Interesting.  I couldn't think of a single place in my house that could be enhanced by these treasures.  

 Winston was spoiled.

My Uncle and his wife have a pool, and guess who loved taking a dip whenever he was hot?  

Again, he's lucky they love dogs and him!!!  

 Proof that our cat Lily isn't the only kitty who loves butter!  

This is Scout.

Yes she's on the counter and ON the cutting board.  

She's spoiled too!  :)

 Did some shopping and bought a bikini.  

I decided to prove to myself that I've not completely lost my shape and I am desirable.  

My belly really enjoyed getting sun, it's only been like 10 years! Lol

 Winston tried teaching his cousins how to hunt.  

Finn and Digby are hopeless hunters but big sweethearts! 

 Went to be "frozen" at a place called The Icebox.  

click here for a link to see more on THAT!  

 You'd swear he has his own pool!  

He was such a king.  

 Met "Son of Frampton"as in Peter

...not really, but he was still a cutie!

 Was giggly with my Aunt's best friend, Tim.  

He has the answers to all my problems. :)

I might have to move down to Atlanta after I finish graduate school.

I learned that when valet parking a Maserati at a restaurant

...one never gets a claim ticket

...and the car always sits out front!  

 Got a driving lesson from my Uncle.  

He said I couldn't text while driving.  

 Got my photo in one. fine. car.

I also went exploring a little on my own, but I'll share those postings soon.  

*****

Have I learned anything else from my traveling this summer?  

Yep.  But it's personal.