Dying sucks

I just got home last night from quick trip up north.

Mom is withdrawn. She won't engage in conversations. She won't look at me. She'll tell me she loves me when I say it first.

She's in the hospital right now and due to be released this morning.

She's so in her own thoughts it's very tough to be with her. I felt almost invisible.

I felt like I was trying to be there for mom and for grandma. At least grandma was genuinely happy to hug me.

I know this cancer and dying are the reasons for mom's behavior. It still sucks.