Rules for Hiking with Hootie - #1

Based on personal experience, I have a rule that anyone who hikes with me needs to follow...

If you take your cell phone with us, it must be turned ON.  Unlike going to the movies, we want to hear it just incase it decides to take it's own little tour of the woods without us. 

I don't think I can instill the safety-orange-colored-case-all-cell-phones-that-hike-in-the-woods-should-be-in rule since I haven't actually seen those cases.  Hmm, maybe I can invent them?

P.S. This is NOT my phone in the pictures.  Also, it wasn't the first one to take a little tour on it's own while out hiking with me.  :)

Forgotten...update 1/20

I am sure that this emotional roller coaster I am on can and will continue for some time!  I hope any readers that I do have will be able to bear with me.

Today, I went by early to see my FIL...when my MIL wasn't around.  See, if she is there and she sees you walk in she will loudly say, "Well, look who is here, it's your (fill in connection), (fill in appropriate name)."

That is fine, but my FIL has still stared at us after she's said that with a look that says I should know you, but I don't.  


So I dropped by early today.  Dad seemed more alert.  I have checked his medications and they should not be causing him to have cognitive problems.  I asked if he remembered my name and he told me he'd tell me later.  His speech was pretty slow and labored...like he was really thinking about what he wanted to say.  Later on the speech therapist came to work with him.  He looked at me but spoke to her and he asked if she knew who I was.  She said yes and then was going to make the connection for him but I stopped her.  I asked him if he was ready to tell her who I was.  He not only got my name, but he knew I was his DIL and who I was married to.  He also identified my daughter, who had texted me...yes, she is at high school, when I said I had just heard from her.  He even knew how old she was!!!

A good morning.  :)

It's a really nice feeling when you can see hints of who a person is still inside of them.  Aging pretty much sucks though.  Especially watching it happen so up close and personally.  Thanks friends for being on this ride with me.  Special hugs to Lauranie and Leslie.  xoxoxo

Forgotten...

Shortly after I met my future husband, my own father passed away.

My father was my first love and I did put him up on a pedestal.  When he died suddenly I was devastated but, I was 21 and my relationship with my dad had evolved.

Still, I loved having a father figure in my life.  Someone I could have things in common with (my love of the beach and ocean), someone I could do things with (take my kids fishing when they were little), someone who seemed proud of what I was doing in my life and someone I could ask advice from and I knew they had my best interests in mind.

*****

Naturally my Father-in-Law (FIL) ended up filling that bill for my need to have a father still in my life.  I have been such a lucky girl!  

with my FIL...October 2011

About 14 years ago my husband and I were able to move back to his hometown...where his parents still lived.  Almost four years ago we were fortunate enough to purchase the house right next door to my in-laws.  Right next to the house my husband grew up in!  Maybe 40 feet away from my hubby's old bedroom!  When we bought the house, the folks who lived in it (for the most recent 25 years past), commented that this was exactly what they hoped and dreamed would happen.  If you ever met my in-laws you would understand why, they are wonderful people.  I do feel truly blessed that my life has played out as it has.

*****

Three weeks ago though my FIL, who is 86 and surprisingly enough is aging, hit a little bump in life.  He has spent his recent time going back and forth from the hospital to a nearby nursing home rehab facility.  He has not been home...nor is he okay.  If you talk to my MIL, she'll sing a different song than I do.  I understand, he is just my father-in-law...he is not my husband or dad.

Two days ago my FIL didn't remember who I was.  Because I had been there at 4 in the afternoon, I thought maybe he was just tired and needed rest.  I went back yesterday at noon.  No change.  I am still struggling to deal with this.  I am gun shy on going back today.  What a chicken I am.

Could this be medication induced?  Or is this just where things have progressed with his dementia?

Family members who do not live nearby do not call or email me to ask how things are going.  Life goes on and that's fine.  Really it is.  I don't even know what to say anymore.

I am very glad we gently pushed for all to come a visit my FIL this past fall.