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~Copyright 2017. Hootie~

Thursday, January 19, 2012


Shortly after I met my future husband, my own father passed away.

My father was my first love and I did put him up on a pedestal.  When he died suddenly I was devastated but, I was 21 and my relationship with my dad had evolved.

Still, I loved having a father figure in my life.  Someone I could have things in common with (my love of the beach and ocean), someone I could do things with (take my kids fishing when they were little), someone who seemed proud of what I was doing in my life and someone I could ask advice from and I knew they had my best interests in mind.

Naturally my Father-in-Law (FIL) ended up filling that bill for my need to have a father still in my life.  I have been such a lucky girl!  
with my FIL...October 2011
About 14 years ago my husband and I were able to move back to his hometown...where his parents still lived.  Almost four years ago we were fortunate enough to purchase the house right next door to my in-laws.  Right next to the house my husband grew up in!  Maybe 40 feet away from my hubby's old bedroom!  When we bought the house, the folks who lived in it (for the most recent 25 years past), commented that this was exactly what they hoped and dreamed would happen.  If you ever met my in-laws you would understand why, they are wonderful people.  I do feel truly blessed that my life has played out as it has.

Three weeks ago though my FIL, who is 86 and surprisingly enough is aging, hit a little bump in life.  He has spent his recent time going back and forth from the hospital to a nearby nursing home rehab facility.  He has not been home...nor is he okay.  If you talk to my MIL, she'll sing a different song than I do.  I understand, he is just my father-in-law...he is not my husband or dad.

Two days ago my FIL didn't remember who I was.  Because I had been there at 4 in the afternoon, I thought maybe he was just tired and needed rest.  I went back yesterday at noon.  No change.  I am still struggling to deal with this.  I am gun shy on going back today.  What a chicken I am.

Could this be medication induced?  Or is this just where things have progressed with his dementia?

Family members who do not live nearby do not call or email me to ask how things are going.  Life goes on and that's fine.  Really it is.  I don't even know what to say anymore.

I am very glad we gently pushed for all to come a visit my FIL this past fall.


Comfrey Cottages said...

Awwww Lisa, it could be the medicines he is on causing memory lapse. Has he been diagnosed with anything? Keeping you both in my heart and prayers! You are not a chicken.. it is just such a hard, hard thing to see our loved ones falter... big hugs and love, Leslie xoxoxo

Lauranie said...

sweetie...I'm so sorry that you are hurting! :( It was so hard for me to visit my Granny when she was in the nursing home after a fall broke her hip and caused a mini "stroke". She could barely speak, but when she did she looked at all of us and just said, "home"...it was so heartbreaking! My MIL thankfully remembers us when she sees us, but then forgets that we visited the second we leave. Before she was diagnosed with Hydrocephalus, they thought she had Parkinson's and gave her a medication for it...well it MADE her have Parkinson symptoms, so it could very likely be a med that is causing the rapid memory loss. You will all be in my thoughts and prayers...and you are definitely NOT a chicken!!! It is ok to doubt your own strength, but I am positive that it will come back in FORCE when others need it!! take care you! xo