As a little girl I dreamt of being a princess.
That meant I would someday find my prince charming, be a wife and a mother. I grew up clouded by images set up by the fairy tales I read and by Disney.
Here's how the story goes: Rags to riches. Good girl. Trouble enters her life. She is smart and strong, but she needs her prince charming to complete her. HE needs to rescue her from whatever that trouble might be. In return, she lives happily ever after by managing his castle and his offspring.
A rather simple dream.
I've lived my dream. Now my clock has struck midnight.
In a few months time I will be back in my rags. Gone will be my nice, big house...the one with the kitchen that I designed. Gone will be the security of my familiar neighborhood...where my neighbors all keep an eye on me. Gone will be the days where I can go to the store and purchase whatever my children and I need, without worry of where the money is coming from. I'm sure I'll be able to afford the basics...I'll have a place to call my own. But, will I be able to afford cable? My smart phone? Any extras?
What outsiders don't see, is that daily I am challenged to hold my head up and be tough. I am reminded that I did make choices that played into how my life has turned out. I take ownership in that. This just sucks. Each day that I receive a paper in the mail from the court, it is a visual reminder of my being discarded. Of my serving my purpose. I've been handed my pink slip.
A former princess. I grew up without much, and I know how to do without. I just need time to adjust.