Shut Up and Dance With Me!

Today's music:
Shut up and Dance by Walk the Moon from their Talking is Hard  album

If you ask me how I am,
my answer will be a very short,
"Fine."

When I say that, you need to know
I am lying.

I will hold back.

I am too scared to bare my heart.
I would rather listen to others, than talk.  
I really need to be prodded, and prodded, and prodded.

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 Trust - noun

1. 1. 

   firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

   "relations have to be built on trust"

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I do not recall how to do this any more.  

It's not that I cannot trust.  

I am a very trusting person who just happens to be at a point in her life where she is too scared to risk telling someone about herself.  

Do they really want to know?  

I mean, honestly, do they???  

Do they care?  

I am not prefect.  

In fact, I am flawed.  

But I hope eventually to heal.  I hear that in order to truly heal, I need to risk.  I have also been told that only by risking will I be able to find love again.  

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Other people are better at risking and trusting.  

I listened to a friend describe jumping out of airplanes. OMG!!!!  Totally cool, yet totally insane...yet totally cool!  Listening to him talk...the confidence literally oozes out of him.  Swagger, without arrogance.  He is self-assured.  I realize a part of makes him so confident is his life background experiences.

He went through four hours of training before his first jump.  After that, he was ready to risk and tandem jump with an instructor.  Really, I'm envious and find that amazing.  He was able to listen to someone for such a short amount of time and totally put his trust in them.  (Envy.)  Since his first jump, he has returned to jump again and again...each time becoming more confident, so he is a solo jumper.

He trusts himself.  Hmm.  I know I'm healing daily.  I really do hope I can someday allow myself to trust again and allow someone to get close to me.

Tonight's music:  David Garrett: He's A Pirate...listening to his whole album, self-titled.  

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