007, Double O Seven
"Shaken, not stirred"
Labels, like a name, can stick. They can define the character of a person.
Scanning through an old article in Psychology Today on Why It's Dangerous to Label People (May 2010), I noted:
"Categorical labeling is a tool that humans use to resolve the impossible complexity of the environments we grapple to perceive. Like so many human faculties, it's adaptive and miraculous, but it also contributes to some of the deepest problems that face our species."
This article discusses why labeling people, particularly children, is a dangerous thing. Future success can be inhibited by a label.
Recently I was called out for referring to a person in my past as a Narcissist. I was told that others might look at me and wonder how I would label them. That's a fair statement. Clearly this person does not know me or my past. Personality disorders are real. I do not label people. At least I try very hard to not label. Are professional diagnosis not to be believed? As a teacher, I understand the damage a label may cause. Near the end of the article, it states:
"Labeling isn't always a cause for concern, and it's often very useful. It would be impossible to catalogue the information we process during our lives without the aid of labels like "friendly," "deceitful," "tasty," and "harmful."
Semantics can be tricky, and limiting. I am working on the descriptors I use. I am trying to eliminate the word "just", as in "friends" versus "just friends" comments. The latter is limiting. During a late night, post-pedicure, dinner and half a bottle of wine therapy session, I was advised to drop the "just" in my descriptions. I was advised to just allow my life to happen and to see what develops.
I was also told I do not need a$$holes in my life. Sage advice from a confident, young lady who chimed in on my therapy session. THAT reminded me of a recent episode of New Girl I watched. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not a little like Jessica Day. In the episode I watched, she was being coached by Schmidt on how to use a dating app called "Dice". Turns out she was willing to suffer through chatting with dates who were clearly not right for her. Jess ends up telling Schmidt she is looking for love, not just a hook up. Self sacrifice is not the way to find love...just my opinion. Unlike Jess, I'm not ready and willing to possibly have my heart hurt again...not yet.
My guard is still up. That's probably a good thing. Like James Bond, I'll survive.
Unlike 007, I do not see myself being a lone wolf, I need friends. I want to be willing to truly risk again. Time is an amazing gift. Starting with friends is a great way to start.
Tonight's blogging music: from my iTunes playlist entitled Bond. James Bond.
Bond movie theme songs.