Most of my teenage secrets reside right here.A few weeks ago I glanced at my Facebook account and on the right hand side under "Highlights" I saw that my 15 year-old daughter was "IN A RELATIONSHIP"! Just a day before we had been talking after her day at school and I asked how things went. I will not get the exact words correct for our conversation (some thing my teen likes to point out when I retell stories) but it went something like this:
me: So, how was your day?
me: anything interesting or fun happen today?
her: well, yeah actually I think I have a boyfriend.
me: you THINK you have a boyfriend? What does that mean?
her: well, this guy asked me if I wanted to go out sometime.
me: what does that mean (go out)?
her: like to a movie or just hang out
me: what does that mean (just hang out)?
her: I don't know Mom! I've never had a boyfriend before!
Originally when we started this conversation I was getting ready to just rest for a few minutes on the couch. Suddenly I wasn't in the mood to rest. My son is the eldest child in our house by two years. He's also the most shy of the two siblings. I haven't been down this path with him. AND, he's my son. Somehow THIS is more personal to me. I actually panicked a bit over this news. But I said to my daughter,
me: Well, It is nice when someone you like happens to like you back too.
Then I started to think back about my first boyfriend. Can my daughter be as lucky as me? My first was one of the most fun, kind, sweet, caring, considerate boys a young girl could have as a boyfriend. I was 15 and a freshman. He was 17 and a senior. I attended a very small school, so everyone knew everyone from K through 12.
Then I started to read through some of my old diaries. I was shocked to find that I had many guys I thought of as my boyfriend BEFORE what I now think of as my first boyfriend. Which has led me to think that definitions can be tricky. I am sure that as a 13 year old I used the term boyfriend (BF) more loosely than I would today. I consider a BF, someone exclusive with whom you are paired for a length of time, longer than a day, a few hours or in a dream. Also that person knows that you exist and agrees to be exclusive with you. For example, in my first diary (the yellow one in the photo) nearly ever entry ends with me professing my love, heart and soul to Shaun Cassidy. In my next diary I noted on October 2nd that it was a "BAD DAY SHAUN CASSIDY GETTING MARRIED (but he's still cute!)" How disastrous for me! I wrote that "it was announced (on the bus radio) that he was marrying a former Playboy model. I felt like crying and half the kids on the bus turned around and looked right at me. I was embarrassed." Two sentences later I must have recovered because I talked about how nice a certain boy (who I now consider my first BF) was. I also noted that this nice boy hung around with a bunch of "hunks" and "foxes".
Oh, young love! I do realize that my daughter will have many boyfriends. That's how it should be so she can figure out who is her perfect match in life. I just hope her heart doesn't get broken too often and that she's with people who will respect her wishes. Hopefully she won't break too many hearts along the way either.
As for my old diaries...wait 'til you hear the OTHER stories I have to share! :)
Oh Shaun, you missed out Honey!