...random thoughts, opinions and secrets on children... aging... cooking... crafts... nature...divorce...second chances...
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~Copyright 2017. Hootie~

Friday, July 23, 2010

Choices?...with a little bit of venting...

Did you ever feel like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place in the choices you need to make?

I have several "issues" I am stuck on.

#1) My daughter is at driver's ed right now. She will be completely done with the driving part in about 20 minutes. Driver's Ed has been fine. The class room stuff is still boring as ever. It's the driving instructor that has bothered me. My daughter has only had to drive for 6 hours.

Here are my DE Instructor issues:
*During the daily driving time, my daughter's instructor has been 10-15 minutes late each time and ended early (10 minutes) just about each time too. There have been two students in the car...so 2 hours of in the car time is really only 1 1/2 hrs of real time. I am not too worried about the driving time my daughter has received because she can't get her license until next February and I'm sure she'll drive a ton between then and now.
*The driving instructor chats on his cell phone while "teaching" his students.
*Today I received text messages from my daughter while she was first stopped at a bank in a nearby city (he had banking he needed to do) and then while stopped at a gas station (so he could get breakfast).

I feel like I need to complain to the driving school. Maybe my best solution will be to remember his name and tell my friends to NOT let their children drive with him.

I think my daughter is learning, but I expect more, better, from a teacher. In the end, I think this bothered me and NOT my daughter.
*****
#2) I have a relative who is staying with my in-laws/next door neighbors who is an alcoholic (although he doesn't admit it) and I am pretty sure I saw him taking a swig of something out at his car this morning...at 9:15. If it was water, why'd he have to come out to his car?

I went over to take dinner to my neighbors last night (my MIL fractured her pelvis four weeks ago and is using crutches to get around) and that relative definitely smelled of alcohol. And just a few nights before that he came home from "work" and was so "exhausted" he passed out on his bed at 5:30 pm. Hmmm. I wasn't over there, so I don't know for sure, but I'm guessing it wasn't exhaustion he passed out from. The problem I have is, what do I do?

We had a pretty major -personal- incident with him about six weeks ago (another story). We try to avoid him at all costs; but IMO this is stressing my relationship with my neighbors. Basically this BIL is unemployed and not trying very hard to get employed. He owns a house a few hours away, but he's been living here, with my in-laws, for the past three months...only going to his house on the weekends to mow the grass. With a friend, from his childhood days, who is finding odd jobs for him here and a mom (and silent, although opinionated, dad) who is willing to "support" him, I don't expect anything to change for my BIL.

I am happy that he has some work to do, but I am not happy that he is here. I definitely don't like the fact that he seems to be drinking and driving either or taking advantage of my in-laws (that last comment is totally my opinion!). My in-laws are 83 and soon to be 85 years-old. The 83 year-old is the one with the fractured pelvis.

And now this relative has met a girl on-line. He's supposedly heading to meet her (she lives in another state far, far away). Wow, I have a ton of opinions and stories I could share about this too. Maybe another time. Maybe not.
*****
So, since I've been writing this my daughter is now done with driver's ed (she was done 10 minutes early) and my relative has left the house next door (probably for the day).

I think I just needed to vent. I know that if it wasn't so humid and hot out I'd be off walking W instead of writing.

Anyone have any opinions they'd like to share? I'm listening.



4 comments:

Esmerelda said...

I would totally complain to the driving school. All that you list is very unprofessional. Do me a favor and get it straightened out before my kid takes lessons.

As for the neighbor/ in law thing--that is a bit harder. No advice from me on that front. Follow your instincts.

Hootie said...

Thanks Esme!

I will comment to the driving school and continue to ponder over the other situation.

:)

Lauranie said...

LOVE your new "look"!! Just wanted to say...

So..you are PAYING for this driving school, correct? I know when our boys went through we paid around $150 for the course..if I am remembering right. It was offered through the HS during the summer so the teacher was paid by the fees, and if I knew that our instructor was doing the kinds of things yours is...you can BELIEVE that I would be talking to him first, then his supervisor!! Talking on a CELL PHONE??? I know he isn't the one driving..but still, it kinda sends the WRONG message!! Ok..enough of that...on to the next...WOW!! BELIEVE me when I say I completely understand how difficult it is to BITE YOUR TONGUE in this situation!! We have had MANY issues over the years with our oldest who is now 22 and has recently moved back in with NO JOB, NO CAR, laying around on my sofa all night and part of the day when he is actually AWAKE!! Eating lots of food and drinking all of my freshly made iced tea!!! But..he is my husband's oldest and I can't kick him out...YET!! HA!! Even though I love him very much and have raised him as my own, I am still overruled by GUILT!! "He has nothing...I don't want him living on the street...he needs to get away from the ppl he hangs out with...at least we know he's ok" So I'm sure your neighbor's are probably "aware" of his problems, but CHOOSE to overlook them. All you can do is keep your family safe from his nonsense, intervene if you smell him getting in a car, and hope that his new internet romance takes him far far away!! :D Until then, feel free to VENT as often as needed!! xo

Hootie said...

Thanks Lauranie for your input! After this weekend (once my daughter is completely finished with DE) I will be voicing my concerns.

As for the neighbor thing...the guest is out of town right now for a bit...with the new girl. Wonder how long it will take her to see his true colors. Yes, my neighbors are consciously overlooking the main problem. I put myself in their shoes, and I think I'd be the same way...we parents do act differently when it's our kids (even if they are over 60 years old) needing help vs. someone else.

I keep telling myself, I've been around the family for over 25 years, but I'm still not blood. Thank goodness for Winston! He keeps me focused (and my mouth shut) on other things...like the woods...time for another walk! :) Did I mention he's a great weight loss tool too? Hugs to you my friend!!!