Tonight, as I was texting with my sister, we were discussing potholes.
***A pothole is a type of failure in an asphalt pavement, caused by the presence of water in the underlying soil structure and the presence of traffic passing over the affected area. Introduction of water to the underlying soil structure first weakens the supporting soil. Traffic then fatigues and breaks the poorly supported asphalt surface in the affected area. Continued traffic action ejects both asphalt and the underlying soil material to create a hole in the pavement. (Wikipedia, Potholes)
My sister and I were actually talking about driving into a pothole unexpectedly. Some potholes cannot be avoided, nor can one avoid all potholes. When we hit a pothole, we learn what to do to survive. We take inventory of damage done, and then move forward.
I've hit a few potholes in my life. This morning I hit another. My iCalendar is wonderful, except it reminded me of an event I really did not need reminding about. Hitting the pothole this morning made me stumble back into a place where I second guess myself. I was all ready feeling a little cautious. Feeling like I had been starting to exposing my inner self too much...sure my flaws are going to be seen. Then I hit the pothole. It shook my soul. Made me feel like it was a cosmic reminder that I am not perfect. It reminded me that someone once saw my flaws.
Tonight however, I am growing through this pothole. I am taking that cosmic reminder as a message that although I am not perfect, I am me, and that I am just fine as I am. I am strong and I am capable. I am consciously reminding myself that there are certain disorders where people project their own flaws onto others. Empathetic souls, are willing to accept those flaws as their own. They take responsibility and try to make things right, or better. I know today, I am only responsible for myself.
As for my feelings of exposing my inner self too much...we cannot live life without risks. Risks can lead to rewards. Risks can make our life richer. No apologies for who I am.