Memorializing thoughts on Memorial Day

Last night I rode in a van for an hour with my in-laws.  We went up to Indy to have a celebration dinner for my MIL's 83rd birthday.  

The evening was beautiful.  We ate dinner outside and on the water front as the sun was setting.  

Our ride home was full of interesting conversation.  As my in-laws friends age and pass away normal taboo topics rise into our discussion.  My FIL will be 85 in October.  Both my in-laws are in good health.  My MIL is very aware of having her final wishes in her life being honored.  The conversations we had last night are normal ones WE'VE had before.  The WE'VE is my husband, myself and his mom and dad.  My children are usually within earshot, but never seem to add their comments and last night had their iPods on their heads.  When the time comes, and being one who certainly understands that the time will come, I too realize that the honor of carrying out my MIL and FIL's wishes will heavily fall onto my husband and myself.  My husband's brothers will not be excluded, it's just that living next door and riding to and from places and having the opportunities to have these conversations happens to us more than to them (the brothers).  

Last night we chatted about gravestones.  

I don't find it offensive or surprising to have these conversations.  Instead I find it fascinating and enlightening.  My MIL would like to have a big ornate, obelisk type stone at the head of her grave.  My FIL would like to be cremated.  Cremation brings another thought, conversation and potential posting...what to do with those ashes.  

I only faintly recall, from my childhood, my own mother and grandmother heading to the cemeteries on the weekend on Memorial Day to lay flowers and check on the deceased members of the "family."  I more vividly recall those two ladies going to the cemeteries after both my father and grandfather died.  These memories are of a sad event, full of self-pity and tears.  

Living about four hours away from my parents and grandparents grave site does not give me the opportunity to stop in as often as I should, as my Grams and Mom would have done.  On the times I have been, I find that tears can't help but seep from my eyes.  I never get that 'I'll feel good that I went later' feeling that one may get either.   

Grave sites.  Places to memorialize lives lost.  But not the only places to memorialize lives lost.   

I do not limit my memories of my parents to just the cemetery.   I don't want my children to limit there memories of me, when that time comes.    

The Signs of Summer...

You know it's summer when...

Your daughter and husband come in the kitchen door.  Your daughter yells, "Hey, You want to see the snake we caught out front?  It's a Rattlesnake*!!!"

*Child saying this is NOT a certified reptile or an other type of animal expert.

New Rules of the Burrow:  

1) No coming into the house with snakes.

2) No coming into the house and saying we have a Rattlesnake!

3) I'm sure I'll think of more rules.  

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FACT:  This snake did rattle it's tail when trapped.  

But I am pretty sure it's either a Corn Snake or a Bull Snake.  It was released out back after my husband played Steve Irwin and had to grab it by the tail and say, "Cri-kees! She's a Beauty!"  Poor baby.  It was just wanting a snack of chipmunks or mice.  

Have You?

Okay, one more downer post and then I promise, I'll be more upbeat!  Seriously.  

Have you made your intentions known yet about how you would want to be treated should something happen and you were incapable of vocalizing your wishes?

*****

As an example, Let's say you get Encephalitis due to West Nile.  You have a fever of about 104 for about 4 weeks and you are basically in a coma.  Live support is keeping you going but there is really not a chance in the world that you are going to be able to come out of this illness and live any good quality of life.  What would you want?    

*****

It's called a Living Will.  Basically you appoint a health care representative who you trust would follow your wishes.  And, you clearly spell out what those wishes are.  

After what I went through emotionally with my mom and step-dad and their illnesses and passing, I knew what my desires were.  I do NOT want my husband or children to ever suffer thinking what would I want versus what is the best.  

We have had many conversations where I have said, "I don't want that!" after hearing or reading some news article.  But, I didn't have it in writing.  

On Monday I went to my hospital for my pre-op stuff and they asked if I had a Living Will in place.  I said no.  The nurse asked if I wanted the paper work to fill out in the next day.  I told her I wanted to say no, but I knew I needed to say yes.  So I took the papers.  

On Tuesday night I sat alone in my kitchen and I cried as I filled out the papers.  What a mature thing to do.  What a grown up decision.  What a finality these papers had.  I really needed to look at this as a gift to my children and husband that I hope they won't need for a long, long time.  

My daughter came in and caught me crying.  She asked why I was doing this now.  Was I worried about the surgery?  My answer was no.  I was not worried about surgery.  I told her I was doing this now because I was young and in good health and I needed to do this.  

Taking the papers to the hospital to have them witnesses the next day was easier.  I didn't realize how hard it would be initially to put my wishes in writing.  Maybe I was a little emotional due to the pending surgery.  

Still, Have you made your wishes known?  Do the right thing, put it in writing!!!  

A Lucky Lady

Me, that is.  

I am lucky to love and to be loved.  

I am lucky to have been loved.

I am lucky to have a roof over my head and any necessity I should need.  

I am lucky to have good health care.  

I am lucky to live in a community that cares about it's members.  

I am lucky to have choices.  

On Wednesday of this week, I went into the hospital for a scheduled hysterectomy.  At 45 I felt young.  I have dealt with too heavy periods for about five years.  In December, I went in to have an uterine ablation.  It looked like I had a polyp.  The ablation turned into a D&C and the polyp a fibroid.  It was a large, pendiculated fibroid growing low and filling up almost completely my uterus.  I have tried many alternatives for my heavy periods over the years.  All would help for a while but no permanent solutions.  In December my doctor told me that surgery to remove the fibroid would be as invasive as a hysterectomy and that the fibroid would grow back.  Most fibroids go unnoticed.  Those few who cause problems can cause lower back pain, pressure on organs, rectum or bladder problems, numbness of extremities, nausea and basic pregnancy symptoms.  

The positive is that most always, fibroids are NOT cancerous.  

My surgery went very well.  I had a LAVH or Laparoscopically Assisted Vaginal Hysterectomy.  My ovaries were left in place.  My fibroid, and two other very large ones were removed!  :)  

I did have a little problem with my blood pressure.  The stress of the surgery caused my BP to rapidly shoot up and it did not want to come down.  I had the same sort of problem when I gave birth to my oldest.  I was advised to get to the hospital way sooner the second time around...to get an epidural.  When I hit 40 I was diagnosed with hypertension and have been on meds ever since.  Good diet, exercise (could be more), and monitoring my BP at home are part of my daily routine.  

Originally I was scheduled to come home on Thursday.  By 11 am on Thursday, I could tell things were not okay.  I called my husband and told him to not bring the kids up but that I needed him and I was having a bad day.  He came and ended up spend the night with me.  It was a boring time for him.  I barely moved.  I was in and out of sleep.  The nurses came in every 30 minutes or so to check my BP.  My meds were being adjusted constantly.  Finally at about 2am I turned the corner.  

By Friday morning my BP was at a better rate and the doctors agreed I could go home.  I was nervous to leave, but wanted my familiar, secure setting.  Early afternoon I was at home in my own pj's and bed.  My kids came home that day and greeted me with happy smiles.  It was what I needed.  

I am happy to report that my BP is so much better this morning!  

I am lucky, and I know it.  

Fooled Me!

It's Tuesday and that means time to play along with Steph, from Steph's Cup of Tea Blog!  This week her chosen color is Yellow.  Specifically, Mellow Yellow.  

I keep my camera tucked in my purse because you just never know when you are going to see something neat or bizarre.  

Last Summer I saw this VW driving around town.  I love how bug owners let their personalities show!  

For the past week I have been trying to figure out what I would say about the color yellow.  I do like it.  It's sunshiny, happy, fresh and the color of most early spring wildflowers.  When I remembered this photo I thought it would be perfect.  After all, I thought, didn't the Beatles sing Mellow, Yellow?  

I looked on Wikipedia.com and found my answer:  Mellow Yellow

I was fooled!  It was Donovan in 1966 who sang this classic.  From my research it looks like he was friends with the Beatles and that Paul McCartney did sing back ground on that track.  

Thanks again Steph, for encouraging me to look closer at things!  

Crocheting! My Latest Attempts...

I still need to weave in the ends, but here's my latest project!  I finished it yesterday on the ride home from Augusta.  

Update notes:  My son's Sci-Oly team placed 21st out of 60 teams in the nation.  Not bad!  

A Day in Augusta, GA...

Yesterday my husband and I spent the day in our car traveling to Augusta, GA. We came to support our son who happens to be a member of the State of Indiana High School Science Champion team. Today is the National competition! Tomorrow we'll travel home.

Most of the science competition events are study events and therefore not viewable by spectators. We did go watch and cheer on our son at his viewable event. And then, while we were waiting my husband and I shared the day exploring! Here's just a a taste of what we did...

Walked to an outdoor amphitheatre. The view is across the river is of the South Carolina part of Augusta. I didn't realise the town spread out like it does!

On this elevated walkway we found a true sundial!

At lunch we had Fried Green Tomatoes!

Had my photo with a statue of James Brown. Bummer, even he was taller than me! :)

Other things we did: Toured Woodrow Wilson's boyhood home, ate more great, local chow, went to a local festival, looked at antiques and walked through a car show...one of those where all the cars are super shiny and have the hoods raised...

Augusta is a very fun place to visit! I'd come back here in a heartbeat. Good food, friendly souls, and lots to do and see. In just a few minutes my husband and I will head back downtown to see the awards ceremony from today's events. Win or lose, we are proud parents of our science guy and his teammates!