...random thoughts, opinions and secrets on children... aging... cooking... crafts... nature...divorce...second chances...
and whatever else I deem curious...
~Copyright 2017. Hootie~

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Hope?...or denial...

So today I talked with my mom and she had a phone call last night from my uncle. It seems his Father-in-Law has an inoperable tumor behind his heart. He has been told he has less than a year to live. My mom said she's glad that's not her. She doesn't know what she'd do if the doctor told her she only had six months to a year to live. She said she's glad she's not in the same boat as Stanley (the FIL).

I am recalling just a two months ago when she said to me she remembers when she worked for a brain surgeon and she knew people who got this cancer (Astrocytoma grade 4, aka GBM) and they weren't around in 6-8 months. Just yesterday she told me her life is boring. She doesn't want to go through this again. Today she said she knows grade 4 isn't miniscule.

I am wondering now...is she in denial or does she have hope? Am I being pessimistic? I haven't voiced my thoughts to her, but I really am trying to focus on having quality time with her. I want to make sure she knows how much I love her and how much she has meant and means to me.

I am really worried about what July 25th will bring. Surely she will have the MRI results back quickly. What will happen if she doesn't get a clean bill of health? How will my 87 year old grandmother deal with bad news? She's definitely in denial since she started telling people that mom's tumor wasn't even in her brain...it was just between her skull and her brain.

Everyday I feel my blood pressure rising. I wish the 25th would just get here so we can get it over with. I can't seem to think about anything else.

Tick...tock...the clock moves very slow when a person is waiting for an answer.

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