Yesterday I met with a therapist.
I told her all about last year. In the end, her jaw was on the floor. She said that just by my mom dying that was more than enough to go through.
Her advice is that I am fine. I am normal. I just need to give myself time and keep talking about my feelings.
All things I all ready knew. I just needed that reminder that I am okay.
Last night I dreamt about my grandma. She gave me a really big book. On one side of the book there was a bible. On the other side there was a bunch of family history. It was a strange dream. I haven't spoken to my grandma in a week. I do need to hear her voice. I know she has been really sad with the loss of my mom. Truthfully, I will be surprised if she can make it through the next year. I was very surprised that she made it through my mom's birthday.
Today would have been my mom and dad's 45 wedding anniversary. It's the first anniversary they have been together in 21 years. Wow. I bet there is a big celebration going on in heaven today.