...random thoughts, opinions and secrets on children... aging... cooking... crafts... nature...divorce...second chances...
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~Copyright 2017. Hootie~

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Entitlement, Money and Greed...or True Colors

Wow. I have spent the past few weeks in a sad, verbal battle with the baby of the siblings. She has said some very hurtful things.

The bottom line is that she feels entitled to more than my brother and me. She told me LEGALLY she didn't have to do anything, but nice her had our mom's IRA split three ways; she could have taken it all. And, I should be grateful for getting something from my step-dad's will because he didn't even intend to leave me anything. AND, this is the kicker, luckily for my brother and I (as far as our relationship with her is concerned) our mother lived longer than 30 days past our step-dad. Although his will contradicts itself in three places, he stipulates if our mom doesn't live 30 days past him things should go to mom's minor child. Did I mention that Art wrote his will when my sister was like 9 years old? She's going to be 27 in two months. Luckily for my brother and I, mom lived 31 days. My sister said, and I quote, "And, if mom had died one day sooner, Art's entire estate would have been going to me. Then you really would have hated me - what would I have done then? Sincerely, I don't know. I'm glad mom waited one more day so I wouldn't have had to make those decisions."

It's her 'SINCERELY, I DON"T KNOW.' line that's killing me. A few weeks ago when she told me she was taking the stock I did tell her I was shocked and that from where I stood it looked like she was being a spoiled brat. She was the one who took mom in her final days to have her will re-written and came out of the deal with mom's car (all else was to be divided equally). She was the only one "allowed" with a key to the house per the estate attorney (so she said), she has been taking things left and right out of the house - way more than my brother or I. But, we did say take what you need, we are older and our households are more established. This additional, "I'm taking this stock" seems over the top. Why is she doing this? If she was intending to take this all along then why wasn't she more forthcoming? She also recently told me she thought I was being 'silly willing to lose my sister over $23,000.00' and in the end I would have "plenty of money" anyway.

My sister blindsided me during my spring break when she told me she intends to fully take one of Art's stocks. In January she had told my brother and I that the attorney she has been working with said Art's will was contradictory to itself and that the best and easiest thing to do was to transfer everything into mom's estate and then split it three ways. Why the change? Or was there never a change, she just wasn't speaking the truth? Do I trust her now? No. Do I think there is trouble in her paradise? Absolutely.

Back when our mom was dying, and I mean she literally only had a few more days left, my sister's husband was putting a lot of stress on her. He told her he felt neglected. He missed the old Eileen. AND, I know they were feeling financially in a crunch. Now the gravy train has stopped from my mom for my sister. Death obviously makes it hard to personally buy things for others. The gravy train has a finite amount of dollars still in it. I think within the year it will be dry. What will my sister do then? How long will her marriage last? She's pregnant with her second child. If her husband was feeling neglected when her mother was dying how do you think he's going to feel with two children now? I think my sister will end up alone and then my grandmother will say, 'poor Eileen, life has been so unfair to her.' And then Grandma will end up footing her bill. I hope my aunt and uncles are wise to this. My sister's head is still full of hateful comments my mom and grandma said over the years about my mom's siblings. My sister also acts a lot like my mom and grandma...if you don't do things the way they think you should you are a bad person.

Looks like my sister's true colors are showing. Looks like she's going to have a difficult road ahead of her. Life lessons are not fun to learn. How unfortunate for her that she hasn't been able to really grow on her own. How sad to be 27 and still so dependent on others. How sad to be so hurtful.

Will her comments to me fade away? Probably not as rapidly as she would hope.

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